Great Expectations

By Mary

I've always heard that having expectations can kill a relationship...or at least put a strain on it. And if my experience is any indication, this has less to do with the expectations themselves being wrong or unrealistic, and more to do with harboring a sense of entitlement for my expectations to be fulfilled.

In my head, these expectations are always formed beginning with "I need". Some mornings I wake up thinking "I need a nap today" (ok, maybe that's not a completely realistic expectation with three kids four and under) and I keep that thought in my head all morning till nap time rolls around...and then the baby wakes up hungry just as I'm dozing off. Or my oldest doesn't fall asleep at all that day. And I feel frustrated and resentful and robbed on top of already being sleepy.

On the flip side, I can wake up totally exhausted but just set to work doing what needs to be done and never have I actually dropped down dead before I could at least close my eyes for the few minutes I truly needed.

Because it's not so much expectations that are the issue-it's my reaction, whether they're met or unmet. For there's opportunity for sanctification in either situation-do I receive my wishes fulfilled with gratitude or smug selfishness? Do I meet let-downs in a way that would please my God?

I've tried to let go of calling a day "bad". It might have been less than ideal, multiple times. There might have been difficulties and annoyances, for sure. In the past (and ok, let me admit it, I broke down and did it in my head today) I've tended to write the whole day as bad, just because the kids seemed to be wearing ear plugs when it came to my instructions and acted like they had signs on each other's backs saying "please do everything you can today to annoy me".

I want my expectations to be less and less about me getting whatever it may be from whoever it may be and more and more about me growing and giving and learning and teaching, whatever the day may bring.

To end, I'll leave you with these inspirational words I stumbled across recently--

carried

by Alanna

They are redoing one of the parking lot sections at our prayer meeting clubhouse. So I had to park far away, and I opted for the baby without the car seat as he's far easier to take that way.  Afterward, I carried him in my arms over a grassy hill.  He was oh so sleepy and rested his whole body against mine.  Trusting, small, confident.  The wind blew and it was a little cold; men were talking loudly nearby; he didn't know where we were going and he didn't care.  He was in his mommy's arms.  I remembered another little boy snuggled against me.  I haven't set foot in that country of his birth in over 5 years now.  Sometimes it feels like forever, but then this weight of my other baby boy pulls me back to that place.  Walking the dirt path back up from preschool with his tired body heavy in my arms.  I want to be carried that way.  So often I beg God to know where He's taking me.  If this wind will stop blowing, and if it will then when?  I try to push away from Him so I can tell Him how I want this walk to look.  I'm tired and weary but when will I be weary enough to realize that His burden is light?  I want to be carried by Jesus, to lay my head heavy on His shoulder and believe that He is trustworthy.  Believe it in my heart and not just in my head.

You will be safe in His arms....
The hands that hold the world
are holding Your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms.