By Mary
In the last 14 months, I've learned how precious sleep really is, one of God's constant, amazing, overlooked gifts. I try to remember to appreciate it, now that I fully enjoy my little one's 12 hour sleep schedule. It's not hard though since there's a baby boom in our church and I get lots of little reminders from my friend's sleep deprived nights.
But then there's nights like these with the baby sleeping sweetly in her crib, probably on her tummy with her knees tucked up, and the dog probably stealing my empty spot in our bed. Restless, emotional, mind-wearying nights. Nights that, in the end, I love. Prayer rarely feels so powerful to me as on these nights when a simple conversation with God brings peace flooding through every part of me within the first few words uttered in my heart.
I see so many examples in the Bible of devotion to prayer...in the Psalms, Daniel, Jesus! I love to read how much time He took to be alone to pray, after every crazy thing that happened, before everything that lay ahead, always. And it reminds me...it's such a blessing to pray! And whatever difficulties I have prioritizing it, in the end I'm always far better off. What a gracious God!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
trusting my man
by Alanna
Let me just say that I don't recommend long-distance relationships, or long engagements. (Although it's helpful to have the first if you must have the second). My heart is more and more with my fiance. I'm impressed with the ways God is working in and through his life, and I can't help smiling because I feel incredibly blessed that God may let me be his help-meet someday. He is bold to speak the truth, to me and to others. And he is also kind and soft-spoken. And those two things combined in him, give me much to thank God for.
We have some big decisions to make, about what to do after marriage. Currently, we're deciding between Minnesota and Honduras. (The sun factor makes this sound like a no-brainer). I've been praying about it, and thinking, although not as much as my man. The thing I'm realizing is that I really believe that God wants me to marry him. And I also really trust that God put him into the position of leadership, and that whatever decision he makes will be the right one. Not that I believe that he is perfect, but just that I feel secure in trusting whatever decision he makes. This makes me happy, especially because sometimes I find submission to be immensely difficult (of course it's only hard when you don't agree). I'm glad tonight, because God gave me a man I can respect, and He gave me this trust that He is sovereign over marriage. I pray that He gives me the grace to love well, and gives us wisdom to follow Him together.
Let me just say that I don't recommend long-distance relationships, or long engagements. (Although it's helpful to have the first if you must have the second). My heart is more and more with my fiance. I'm impressed with the ways God is working in and through his life, and I can't help smiling because I feel incredibly blessed that God may let me be his help-meet someday. He is bold to speak the truth, to me and to others. And he is also kind and soft-spoken. And those two things combined in him, give me much to thank God for.
We have some big decisions to make, about what to do after marriage. Currently, we're deciding between Minnesota and Honduras. (The sun factor makes this sound like a no-brainer). I've been praying about it, and thinking, although not as much as my man. The thing I'm realizing is that I really believe that God wants me to marry him. And I also really trust that God put him into the position of leadership, and that whatever decision he makes will be the right one. Not that I believe that he is perfect, but just that I feel secure in trusting whatever decision he makes. This makes me happy, especially because sometimes I find submission to be immensely difficult (of course it's only hard when you don't agree). I'm glad tonight, because God gave me a man I can respect, and He gave me this trust that He is sovereign over marriage. I pray that He gives me the grace to love well, and gives us wisdom to follow Him together.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
rocking a baby
by Alanna
This past weekend I got to hold a recently born little boy, and he was restless. He would drift off to sleep for a few minutes, and look so peaceful, but then wake up again. I wonder if he would have slept better if I had just set him down somewhere. Or maybe he was just not sleepy.
I have vivid memories of South Africa, sitting in that little green rocking chair. I wanted to rock him to sleep, because I didn't want to part with him. And it was such a peaceful feeling to hold him near until his tiny body was at rest. But he was restless, and he always slept better after I laid him down in his crib. He needed sleep to grow strong, and so often I put him down sooner than I wanted to. Time is precious. And I never want to take moments for granted. Now, memories is all I really have.
But it reminds me, that sometimes we have to lay down our dearest loves, so that God can grow them strong. He is capable and trustworthy. I still think of him everyday, and my heart still aches. But I know, even in my ignorance, that God is doing something so beautiful and so right and so good in his life. A little over one year ago, I surrendered him to God for the first time. So I know, I've learned this lesson right? I'm so thankful that God taught me to lay little one down. Sometimes sacrifice is the very thing that God uses to build something beautiful. And I'm fully confident that whatever plans God has for that little boy, they are incredible.
This past weekend I got to hold a recently born little boy, and he was restless. He would drift off to sleep for a few minutes, and look so peaceful, but then wake up again. I wonder if he would have slept better if I had just set him down somewhere. Or maybe he was just not sleepy.
I have vivid memories of South Africa, sitting in that little green rocking chair. I wanted to rock him to sleep, because I didn't want to part with him. And it was such a peaceful feeling to hold him near until his tiny body was at rest. But he was restless, and he always slept better after I laid him down in his crib. He needed sleep to grow strong, and so often I put him down sooner than I wanted to. Time is precious. And I never want to take moments for granted. Now, memories is all I really have.
But it reminds me, that sometimes we have to lay down our dearest loves, so that God can grow them strong. He is capable and trustworthy. I still think of him everyday, and my heart still aches. But I know, even in my ignorance, that God is doing something so beautiful and so right and so good in his life. A little over one year ago, I surrendered him to God for the first time. So I know, I've learned this lesson right? I'm so thankful that God taught me to lay little one down. Sometimes sacrifice is the very thing that God uses to build something beautiful. And I'm fully confident that whatever plans God has for that little boy, they are incredible.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
love is...
By Mary
On Valentine's Day, love is red and pink and ribbons and lace, hearts and Cupid, Xs and Os, frosting and candy and flowers and cards. And I love all that. But I'm so thankful for real love, true love. The hard, messy, meaningful, beautiful love. The love that God is, the love He calls us to have, to be. The love that's not supposed to be kept only for a single person or for those we feel are deserving.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us."
"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us."
"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Happy Valentine's Day!
On Valentine's Day, love is red and pink and ribbons and lace, hearts and Cupid, Xs and Os, frosting and candy and flowers and cards. And I love all that. But I'm so thankful for real love, true love. The hard, messy, meaningful, beautiful love. The love that God is, the love He calls us to have, to be. The love that's not supposed to be kept only for a single person or for those we feel are deserving.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us."
"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us."
"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Happy Valentine's Day!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
tender heart of God
{When He went ashore he saw a great crowd, and He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And He began to teach them many things.}
Saturday, January 26, 2013
the adornment of good works
by Alanna
Lately I find myself wearing two pieces of jewelry, which for me in the past was a pretty uncommon phenomenon. I'm not a big jewelry girl. The thing is, that the two things I like to wear both represent someone else. My engagement ring reminds me of the man who gave it to me, and every time I see it I'm reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to love and be loved by him. I'm still quite astonished by the fact that I get to marry him someday. And I'm proud to be his fiancee, because I think he is simply the best. So I wear this ring to remind myself, and to tell the world a story of God's goodness to me. Around my neck I wear a small little nest on a chain. The two beads in there represent me and my son. And it reminds me of the precious gift that I was given in him, and the beautiful things that God has done in both our lives. That story is harder for me to tell, more complicated, more sorrow all wrapped up in it. But still I wear it because I am thankful, and to remind myself of the love I've been given.
I want some visible way to tell the world of the greatest love I have been given. Is there a symbol that we wear that says to the world, "I belong to Jesus"? I'm so thankful for His love, so undeserved and so immeasurably great. And then I remembered this verse in 1st Timothy 2.
Lately I find myself wearing two pieces of jewelry, which for me in the past was a pretty uncommon phenomenon. I'm not a big jewelry girl. The thing is, that the two things I like to wear both represent someone else. My engagement ring reminds me of the man who gave it to me, and every time I see it I'm reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to love and be loved by him. I'm still quite astonished by the fact that I get to marry him someday. And I'm proud to be his fiancee, because I think he is simply the best. So I wear this ring to remind myself, and to tell the world a story of God's goodness to me. Around my neck I wear a small little nest on a chain. The two beads in there represent me and my son. And it reminds me of the precious gift that I was given in him, and the beautiful things that God has done in both our lives. That story is harder for me to tell, more complicated, more sorrow all wrapped up in it. But still I wear it because I am thankful, and to remind myself of the love I've been given.
I want some visible way to tell the world of the greatest love I have been given. Is there a symbol that we wear that says to the world, "I belong to Jesus"? I'm so thankful for His love, so undeserved and so immeasurably great. And then I remembered this verse in 1st Timothy 2.
"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness."
Good works. I want this to be what people notice about me. Not the way I dress, not the way I look. I want to be adorned with good works, and in this way perhaps I might "adorn the doctrine of God our Savior" (Titus 2:10). If we make a claim to godliness, if we affirm that Jesus is resurrected and at work in us, we should be clothed in good works. Good works are not the gospel or our salvation, just as my ring is not marriage and my necklace is not motherhood. But I hope that good works adorn the story, that others see and glorify God. And I hope that God's sanctifying work in us, reminds us of His great love. May His love be the first and the last and the most prevalent thing that anyone notices in me.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?"
-2nd Corinthians 2:14-16
Thursday, January 24, 2013
healing
By Mary
You're a whole year old now little one. And somehow another month has already sneaked by since your birthday. Everyone says you're face is looking so much older, like a child, not a baby--and that you seem so tiny to be walking around the way you do. I'll miss your wiggly crawl. But I love each step you toddle around the room, especially those last few you take so quickly when you've almost reached where you're going.
And I'm so glad you're small, so roly poly, but still small. These days with you go by so fast even the fussy ones and the ones where your will comes out strong.
Love for you overflows in me...and sometimes watching you, I think of other sweet ones that found a place into my mother-heart when you were just a someday thought. They taught me so many things but especially appreciation. I'm so grateful I get to get you out of your crib every morning, smiling and laughing and jumping up and down with eagerness to be gathered into my arms.
I didn't know how it would be to love you all but I hoped you'd heal the ache in my heart that dulled with time. It doesn't hurt anymore, every day. But I know that was a gift separate from you. You don't fill their place, just as loving them could never take away an ounce of my love for you. And I'm glad. I'm glad for the wistfulness of sweet memories, the dreams that still visit me sometimes at night, and even the tears that find their way into my eyes when three years feels so long ago. I'm so thankful for the little miracles God has worked in their lives to give them families to love and be loved by. And I'm so so blessed to have you be in my family. You're just the best thing for your daddy and me little girl. I love you.
You're a whole year old now little one. And somehow another month has already sneaked by since your birthday. Everyone says you're face is looking so much older, like a child, not a baby--and that you seem so tiny to be walking around the way you do. I'll miss your wiggly crawl. But I love each step you toddle around the room, especially those last few you take so quickly when you've almost reached where you're going.
And I'm so glad you're small, so roly poly, but still small. These days with you go by so fast even the fussy ones and the ones where your will comes out strong.
Love for you overflows in me...and sometimes watching you, I think of other sweet ones that found a place into my mother-heart when you were just a someday thought. They taught me so many things but especially appreciation. I'm so grateful I get to get you out of your crib every morning, smiling and laughing and jumping up and down with eagerness to be gathered into my arms.
I didn't know how it would be to love you all but I hoped you'd heal the ache in my heart that dulled with time. It doesn't hurt anymore, every day. But I know that was a gift separate from you. You don't fill their place, just as loving them could never take away an ounce of my love for you. And I'm glad. I'm glad for the wistfulness of sweet memories, the dreams that still visit me sometimes at night, and even the tears that find their way into my eyes when three years feels so long ago. I'm so thankful for the little miracles God has worked in their lives to give them families to love and be loved by. And I'm so so blessed to have you be in my family. You're just the best thing for your daddy and me little girl. I love you.
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