dying

by Alanna

This morning I took the twins out walking in the leaves. One stomped happily; one sat down in the middle and laughed with head thrown back, whacking the leaves all around him. I always thought I didn't like the idea of winter coming. Dying everywhere, leaves letting go and tumbling to the ground. It is beautiful now but so sad. This has been on my heart though-

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat

falls into the earth

and dies,

it remains alone;

but if it dies, it bears much fruit

This dying to self, this letting go, this surrender. It is painful and I crave the safety of the branches and want to cling tight. But Jesus called us to die to ourselves. And that means surrendering my will to His. To place my little life into His hands. To sacrifice my will and believe that He is the Resurrection and the Life. Paul doesn't only write about crucifixion, he writes that he lives now by faith. And if to remind us at the end, he adds that his trust is in the One who submitted to crucifixion Himself, on our behalf. The One who is trustworthy.

I have been crucified with Christ;

and it is no longer I who live,

but Christ lives in me;

and the life which I now live in the flesh

I live by faith in the Son of God

who loved me and gave Himself up for me