It's been a long week filled with long days for my husband at work and when the clock above the stove tells me he’s been gone over twelve hours and he still isn’t home, I have to stop and be thankful for the job God has provided. The stability, the money, the blessing for me of being able to stay at home with our baby girl, I can start taking these things for granted. But I know it’s not something I’m owed.

So when he comes home from a long day at work, so ready to just do nothing and I meet him at home so eager to have him around and just do something, we just have to laugh and figure out the compromise somewhere. And I’m thankful again that doing nothing isn’t so bad as long as you’re with the right people.

Today there’s the taste of summer in the air, the smell of wild roses blooming in full bushes and the humidity lying thick on my skin. And while I’m not looking forward to another year of meeting my doggie’s bodily and energy needs with no yard and baby in tow, I am fully intending to enjoy the pool with baby-G who seems to love the water already if bath time is any indication.

We made plans recently to start meeting with two couples from church once a week (one older and one in our season of life) as sort of a mentorship thing. Nick’s work schedule has so far manages to get in the way but I really enjoyed the reading we did for it—the gospel of Mark, paying special attention to the things Jesus prioritized and the different ways people reacted to Him. My list of priorities expanded a little to include thing He placed value on through His words as well. Things like…

Baptism

Following the Spirit’s direction

Preaching/teaching

Solitude

Prayer

Good works—healing, serving, helping

Relationships

Faith and truth

Physical nourishment, rest

Sabbath worship

Repentance

Purity of heart

Sharing life with a select, intimate group

Taking care of believers

Self-sacrifice to avoid sin

Marriage

Children

Generosity

Humility

Looking for the 2^nd coming

Gentleness

I guess whenever I get to wondering what I should be doing with my time, my life, there’s a nice long list of things from which to choose…

By Mary

When I was little, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and a mommy (ok my first choice was to always live with my own mommy. So it was my second pick)

Here I am, twenty years old, married, with my baby playing on the floor next to me. Goals met, desires fulfilled, oh so blessed. I’ve got what I always wanted sooner than I ever dreamed. And occasionally I stop and ask myself, what now? Contentment is good, right? And mostly I am. God has more or less dropped all my dreams right in my lap. But shouldn’t I pursue something, look ahead to something. Should I let life just be?

There are moments still when my heart aches over memories past, wishing they could be again. Not to go back but to go forward, not to relive them but experience similar ones. Someday…maybe someday. Maybe someday we’ll be back in Colorado and I’ll have some more late nights with the dearest people in the world.

Maybe someday we’ll have more kids. A house we won’t leave behind every couple of years. Maybe we can work in another country together beyond the typical mission trip.
But are these the things I should work towards?

And then I remember something about contentment…when it comes with Godliness, it is great gain. And isn’t that the point really? Being like Him, glorifying Him? It supersedes every other goal and goes beyond all other achievements—marriage, career, college, motherhood, fatherhood, service—because it’s in all those things. That call is in every moment of every one of my days. When the sun is bright and Nick and I play on the floor with Gianna and her smiles flood without coaxing. When I’m lonely for life where I grew up or miss the sweet faces and voices I loved in South Africa. When I’m alone or with a crowd, busy or bored--from the moment I was first His until always and forever.

By Mary

Sometimes this blog sits in the back of my mind, hauntingly reminding me that blogs are generally meant to be updated occasionally and that I'm nowhere near to living up to the once a week posting Alanna and I said we'd each do almost two years ago [Two years--where does the time go? It flies right by, even through those moments that seem to drag on and on while you live them]

So I sit down to write, open a new post in one tab...and then open a few more, killing time, waiting for words to come. I read a different blog, hoping for inspiration only to decide that people should probably just read other blogs anyways.

My baby is in her bed [finally in her own room], my dog is breathing deep at the foot of the bed, dreaming puppy dreams. My husband is spending the week in Hawaii, on business, and Friday can't come soon enough for me.

And me, I sit staring at the screen with only this much written and nothing more waiting in the wings. So I guess for tonight at least this is it [at least I can say I posted, right? =)]

silly trees

by Alanna

Today was similar to many

I went to work

and took the twins for a walk

I love to point out the trees to them

because I remind them every time, that God made that tree

first He created just a tiny seed

and then He grew it into that big huge tree

and in the same way, I tell them

He will grow them to be big and strong

(I remind myself too)

"He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ"

The trees are beginning to blossom

and there were some beautiful ones

we noticed while walking today

and then, rounding a corner

two ridiculous trees

side by side

with their old dead leaves from last year

still clinging to them

they'd been stubborn I guess

just didn't want to let go

they didn't look beautiful, even empty like some of the others

they just looked silly

i laughed at those trees

and i wondered at myself

when i pulled at a dead leaf, it didn't come off easily

the trees were still holding on

to a whole bunch of old dead leaves

when all around them was new life growing

didn't they know?

that to live, they'd have to die?

how quickly i forget

how tightly i cling

only the Father can bring new life

we can't hold on to life, or gifts, or blessings

they wither and dry up

like yesterday's manna

every day has to be a surrender

every fall has to be death

every gift has to be given back to the Giver

in gratefulness

in worship

'Do not call to mind the former things,

or ponder things of the past.

Behold, I will do something new,

now it will spring forth;

will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness

rivers in the desert.'

-God

togetherness

By Alanna AND Mary

cookie dough
marble staircase and cobblestone streets
smell of spring
70 degrees of sunshine and blue skies
wind off the Chesapeake Bay
safe driving after not quite getting lost
baby smiles and coos
Allie guilty
prayers on the couch
pictures old and new
our songs
God's timing

God gives us so much to be thankful for, though this week it is easier to see than others. God gave us this week to live life together, face to face, side by side, to laugh and eat and pray together, to learn and explore and be.

life around here lately

By Mary

We're home in Maryland, with spring slowly creeping in, with the songs of birds, tiny wildflowers crawling across the greening grass, and the sheer red mist of new buds on the twigs of every tree.

My family's been and gone, a sweet week of reunion, relaxation and seeing the sights. My parents got to be with all their kids and their two granddaughters for the first time ever.

Our little baby Gia is two months old already, the early stress more of a memory and being up in the middle of the night just a routine. She gets sweeter every day.

My husband started a blog of his own to update between all his work travels and the time we all spend as a family just enjoying each day. http://learninglessonsinlove.blogspot.com/ --check it out sometime.

We're reading through the bible together this year. A small ladies' bible study is meeting at our apartment on Wednesday mornings. And maybe one of theses nights we'll manage to make it back to our small group.

AND tomorrow in too-good-to-believe fashion, Alanna and I will finally be hanging out again, talking face to face, enjoying the blessing of simply being together. God is so generous. And life is good.

our 'rights'

by Alanna

A few weeks ago, I had somewhat of an emotional breakdown. I started to seriously fear the future, panicked, shut down, and then became angry at God for what I was afraid He might do. It boiled down to the simple fact that I didn't trust Him. I didn't trust that He had the best plan for little one. I doubted that He had the best plan for me. For a few days I distracted myself, let my anger simmer, and tried not to think too much. Then I turned on an Otto Koning sermon, in which he talked about surrendering our rights. As he began to talk about his children, and how he had to learn to surrender them, I broke down. I realized that this is what God wanted me to do.

Since that sermon, God has been at work in my heart. I went to visit my dear friend Anna Marie, and we were able to talk about so much and work through so many things that were laying heaviest on my heart. God has been showing me so much, and confirming that truth for me over and over again.

I could blog about a lot of things, but the biggest one to me is that we need to surrender our rights to God. Everyday, multiple times a day, I have to surrender my child to Him. It is so easy to take back our burdens. I have to remind myself that we don't have a 'right' to anything. All is grace, all are gifts given by a good Father. It is time that I began to acknowledge that I have no right to be a mother. It was always a gift. When I surrender this to God, it is freeing to me. It is acknowledging that I have no control over the situation- it is entirely in God's capable, trustworthy hands. I still ask God to fight for little one, but I ask in confidence that He takes good care of what belongs to Him. Grieving, wondering, praying, seeking- it is so much easier when it all involves surrender. Still it is hard for me, everytime. God has been so faithful to me and so near. He gives us the strength to let go of our rights, to lay down low and trust Him. He is so much bigger than we are, so much wiser, so much more compassionate and full of lovingkindness. I ask Him to grant me the grace to surrender, step aside, and watch Him work miracles.