In the midst of it All

By Mary


My husband and I took a walk through the darkness with the stars overhead, my hand closely covered by his, and we strained our eyes to be sure the shapes on the sidewalk were legitimately leaves and not some disgustingly large bug that would scurry out under our feet at just the wrong moment. I"m a visual person. I remember things better if I actually see them. I like to see where I'm going, especially if it enables my to avoid things I'd rather not step on. But hard as it was to see, I realized the dark heightened my other senses. We stopped to listen to the bubbling of a fountain in a yard across the street. The salt water smell drifted on the air from the boardwalk and a sweet southern garden filled my head with it's scents as we walked by.

In a way it's like my life right now.

My comfort zone is almost two thousand miles away. Everything, everyone I'm used to having near me to trust and depend on is not just in the next room. Or a quick drive away. They're there for me if I need them them to be. It's just different. And I can focus on the bad parts, the hard stuff, the things I don't like--or even simply the things that I miss. But that would be like trying to hard to use my eyes in the dark that I forget to breathe in the charm of a hundred flowers or taste the saltiness on my lips.

God is everywhere and I know His plan for me is right here, right now. I can choose to seek it and find the beauty of it or let my own plans and distractions get in the way.

I'm so easily distracted. My mind is always flitting from one thing to another, like a bird hopping from one branch to the next, never quite deciding where to settle.

I thought it would be easy to keep God at the forefront of my heart and mind. While my man works, I assumed it would be easy to remember that He is my constant companion and that I'd turn to Him about everything. Instead I focus on the tasks at hand, from unpacking and cleaning, to cooking and writing emails. I forget to involve Him in all these little things and make them about Him. I'm realizing I have to fight just as hard to not get caught up in the world--even if it's only the little world of my house and mind.

God must be my all before I can be anything for anybody else. And I know He is here now just as He's always been in the midst of it all.