this or that and the most important thing

By Mary

Life is settling back down into it's rhythm like the ocean waves-always unpredictable. At times gentle and peaceful and at others swift and fierce; but always ebbing and flowing, out and in with the tides.

It's been hard to settle down since our trip back home. The cooking and the cleaning, that's all fine. But with the empty house from the kiss goodbye in the morning til dinner time at night and the weight of the miles between me and my family and my family of friends...my heart began to feel empty. And the emptiness filled me in a way--the way a hunger neglected for so long leaves room only for a dull ache in the pit of your stomach.

And it's so easy for me to wallow in that--and then turn around and put on a smiling face and all the right words to cover it up.

My husband is master of the art of "keeping it real". Sometimes it gets him into trouble. But he also helps me see that keeping it perfect is neither the only option nor the best option most times.

When I'm content to show the world only a surface perfection with the right answers given with a cheerful voice at the right moment, I also learn to look for nothing deeper. I'm content with the shallow happiness, the shallow relationships, the distant friendship with God and the quiet ache inside.

In the midst of a crazy week of long hours at work and long work related phone calls after work for my husband, we made a little time one evening to work on another lesson from our Bible study together. The focus Bible passage was Colossians 3:1-14-

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting that the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you dies, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to on another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all. Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies. kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do.

I've read these same words time after time and heard multiple lessons on them through the years. And this time around, they meant something again.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with Alanna last month about standards-not simply avoiding the "bad" things but seeing what is good and right and edifying. Getting rid of one thing and taking up something better. We aren't commanded to just stop dwelling in sin. Or to think on middle ground thoughts. Rather we are supposed to think on things that are pure and noble and good. That's the life we're supposed to pursue.

Life is supposed to be more than fine. It's supposed to be wonderful and difficult and confusing and thrilling.

I have a choice every day, every moment--this or that? Live in the flesh, and experience shallow Christianity or pursue the good things, even being vulnerable and letting others know when life isn't just good. Maybe even let them bear my burdens with me?

And through the choices and the failures and the good times and the bad, learning more and drawing closer to the most important thing--a vital, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.