a heart-holding God

by Alanna

This morning was one of those precious moments- the ones you want to capture forever. It was my last night of nightshift, and at around 4:30 I heard a familiar cry. It was my little boy, probably woken up with a bad dream. I ran to his crib, held him in my arms and kissed him. Then I put him back to bed and finished the rest of the cleaning up and preparing for dayshift. At 5 a.m. I went back to his crib and he was just lying there awake, so I got him up and laid on the couch with him. He laid still for a little, sucking his fingers, but soon decided that he’d rather be playing peek-a-boo and laughing. I carried him to the kitchen, his head resting on my neck and the blanket around us. It was beautifully still and quiet, and I warmed up the bottles for morning as I rocked him in my arms. Matt Kearney music was playing softly, and the sunrise just lighting up the morning. One of those moments when my heart overflowed with the love of the King.

Hard things are being done with my heart these past few weeks. There is a fear that maybe my boy will be going soon to a man that is ungodly and from my earthly point of view, not much of a home. I have been praying earnestly about adopting him, not only to keep him from this, but also because it has been the cry of my heart since the night when God first brought him to me. God will have to do a lot in many people’s hearts to make that possible, but my God is not daunted by any obstacles. He is so incredible and so loving. I feel as if He is holding my heart, and that He has placed His hand around me. On the other side there is looming fear and worry, and if He were to let me go, I would be overwhelmed by it. The tenderness and compassion of our God has been so proven anew to me this week. His peace does indeed surpass understanding.

His love is strong