Hannah

by Alanna

Tonight my heart is really full of a few things. Mainly it is full of little one. The only little one I've ever had. My heart's always full of him, but sometimes it swallows up everything else and missing him is all I can feel. I've had a few days like that this past week. It's painful to me, and I've never known how to grieve well with hope still inside of me. I can't hide my sorrow, and I can't explain it. It leaves me feeling empty, bereaved, alone. I can't predict when my tears will come and lately they come again everyday. That's been my story lately, but sorrow is not what I want to write about tonight.

God's been showing me a lot lately through the story of Hannah and Samuel. So amazed at Hannah's faith, her genuine lament, her thankful heart and her spirit that sang praise to the Lord when He answered her prayer. And then her heart of total surrender when she gave that prayer right back to her Lord- because He was worthy of even the thing most dear to her heart.

It's not just about surrendering though. Its about being real and crying out to God to fulfill the desires that He's placed there. And in the midst of lament, to rest contentedly in His hands, that our will might be one with His.

"And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,

until it be according unto mine?

But, no, Lord, that never shall be, rather

I pray Thee blend my human will with Thine.

I pray Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,

I pray Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire-

See in my quiet places, wishes thronging-

Forbit them, Lord, purge, though it be with fire.

And work in me to will and do Thy pleasure

Let all within me, peaceful, reconciled,

Tarry content my Well-Beloved's leisure,

At last, at last, even as a weaned child."

-Amy Carmichael