Great Expectations

By Mary

I've always heard that having expectations can kill a relationship...or at least put a strain on it. And if my experience is any indication, this has less to do with the expectations themselves being wrong or unrealistic, and more to do with harboring a sense of entitlement for my expectations to be fulfilled.

In my head, these expectations are always formed beginning with "I need". Some mornings I wake up thinking "I need a nap today" (ok, maybe that's not a completely realistic expectation with three kids four and under) and I keep that thought in my head all morning till nap time rolls around...and then the baby wakes up hungry just as I'm dozing off. Or my oldest doesn't fall asleep at all that day. And I feel frustrated and resentful and robbed on top of already being sleepy.

On the flip side, I can wake up totally exhausted but just set to work doing what needs to be done and never have I actually dropped down dead before I could at least close my eyes for the few minutes I truly needed.

Because it's not so much expectations that are the issue-it's my reaction, whether they're met or unmet. For there's opportunity for sanctification in either situation-do I receive my wishes fulfilled with gratitude or smug selfishness? Do I meet let-downs in a way that would please my God?

I've tried to let go of calling a day "bad". It might have been less than ideal, multiple times. There might have been difficulties and annoyances, for sure. In the past (and ok, let me admit it, I broke down and did it in my head today) I've tended to write the whole day as bad, just because the kids seemed to be wearing ear plugs when it came to my instructions and acted like they had signs on each other's backs saying "please do everything you can today to annoy me".

I want my expectations to be less and less about me getting whatever it may be from whoever it may be and more and more about me growing and giving and learning and teaching, whatever the day may bring.

To end, I'll leave you with these inspirational words I stumbled across recently--