It's Christmastime

By Mary

Life always seems to get even more busy than usual during the last couple months in the year. Add house-hunting, buying and moving into all the parties and extra activities and you have a busy holiday season. We're all moved in to our new house--which stays warm, has space for a kitchen table, has cupboards that both open and close without a fight, an oven that doesn't set off all the smoke alarms everytime I heat it over 375 degrees and a stove top that doesn't tilt all the liquid into the back of the pan. I'm thankful. I'm sure it'll be my favorite Christmas present this year.

There's not a box to be seen in the house--they're all sitting in the garage, waiting for trash day. I do have a assortment of odds and ends waiting to find their place, a large stack of picture frames looking for the ebst spot on the walls and several stacks of books that require another bookcase before they can move off the floor.

But it's home and it's ours--and it's a wonderful feeling.

We decorated our Christmas tree last night and I've only bought one present--almost three months ago when I happened upon it in the store and couldn't pass it up. I have the feeling Colorado-bound Christmas presents will be a bit late this year.

Christmas music is everywhere, the city put up green wreaths and red bows and lights shaped like snowflakes and angels blowing trumpets all along the roads. And every night there's a different Christmas special on tv.

We never did the Santa Claus thing when I was growing up and I'm amazed at how many songs and shows are all about him, how everyone wants to make him the star of Christmas. I can go on about how silly or awful that is until I stop and think how much like my own life it is. As some say, Jesus is the reason for the season. Ultimately that won't change even if everyone forgets His birth altogether. And He is and will be the reason for each one of us, whether we live that way or not. One day everyone will recognize it. But me...having recognized it, why should I go on in a way that reflects me as lord of my own life? Where His light and love and humility in my life?

It's Christmastime...and Jesus is the reason for the season and every breath that we take. Let's not forget to live that way.

a heart-holding God

by Alanna

This morning was one of those precious moments- the ones you want to capture forever. It was my last night of nightshift, and at around 4:30 I heard a familiar cry. It was my little boy, probably woken up with a bad dream. I ran to his crib, held him in my arms and kissed him. Then I put him back to bed and finished the rest of the cleaning up and preparing for dayshift. At 5 a.m. I went back to his crib and he was just lying there awake, so I got him up and laid on the couch with him. He laid still for a little, sucking his fingers, but soon decided that he’d rather be playing peek-a-boo and laughing. I carried him to the kitchen, his head resting on my neck and the blanket around us. It was beautifully still and quiet, and I warmed up the bottles for morning as I rocked him in my arms. Matt Kearney music was playing softly, and the sunrise just lighting up the morning. One of those moments when my heart overflowed with the love of the King.

Hard things are being done with my heart these past few weeks. There is a fear that maybe my boy will be going soon to a man that is ungodly and from my earthly point of view, not much of a home. I have been praying earnestly about adopting him, not only to keep him from this, but also because it has been the cry of my heart since the night when God first brought him to me. God will have to do a lot in many people’s hearts to make that possible, but my God is not daunted by any obstacles. He is so incredible and so loving. I feel as if He is holding my heart, and that He has placed His hand around me. On the other side there is looming fear and worry, and if He were to let me go, I would be overwhelmed by it. The tenderness and compassion of our God has been so proven anew to me this week. His peace does indeed surpass understanding.

His love is strong

for my family

by Alanna

Last night was just one of those times when my heart ached for my family. Talking to some of them on the phone was so wonderful, but also hearing their voices just makes me want to see them and just be with them. It’s strange because I feel at peace that TLC is where God wants me. I love it and am so incredibly blessed to be taking care of these beautiful children. I still long, though, for those who are most dear to my heart. So this blog is for all of you, my family.

To my big brothers- Daniel, Gordon, and Wesley. I don’t often express to you, but I am so grateful to have such wonderful men to look up to as protectors. It has been such a blessing to get closer to you now as we are older, and to be able to talk with you and ask for advice. You always treat me right and because of that I have learned to never accept anything less from a guy. Thank you for being there for me, for watching out for me, for caring about me. I love you.

To my tall little sister. You amaze me Maresa. Your strength is such an inspiration to me. The way that you fight for joy and the compassion that you have for those struggling. I love laying on your bedroom floor and talking to you, or being woken up by you at 5 in the morning because you have to tell me news about Phillip. Hearing from you about the things that God teaches you is such an encouragement to me to keep on learning, to keep on growing. You are such a beautiful person, and I could never thank God enough for letting us be sisters.

To my Isaac. Where to even begin? You know I love you right? You know I miss you so much here. I might not always be good at showing you, but I love having you around. I love that you hang out with me and my friends, and that I can talk to you about anything and everything. I like riding in my car with you and letting you DJ the music. I love getting hugs from you, even when I’m grumpy. I love doing ministry with you, and I love that God teaches us and grows us together.

To my little sisters- Jasmine, Susan, and Amirah. There is a special place in my heart for you, and I think of you everyday. I love being with you. I know that I am often busy and seem to be gone a lot, but really if there is one place I’d love to be- it would be sitting on the couch with you three and reading together or just talking and laughing. I love you so much. I hate to be missing such a big part of your growing up- 6 whole months. But I know that God is taking care of you and growing you into the beautiful girls that He has created you to be. I cannot wait to see you again.




To my parents. Coming here and loving these kids has given me just a small taste of the love that you have for all of us. I am amazed at the self-sacrificial love that you’ve poured out through all these years. And still more encouraged that it is the love of Christ working through you, that has made such a difference in our family and in my life. Dad- thank you for being the provider and the protector, and relying on God for all your strength and sanity. Mom- thank you for being my best friend. I love you.

I love you all so much. I know that I say it a lot, but I can never say it enough. I am so thankful to have you in my life and I praise God for giving me such a wonderful family. You all are my strength, the means that God uses to equip me for serving Him in other places. You have taught me how to live, rejoice, and love well.

Thus far

By Mary

A year ago I was packing, writing goodbye notes to friends, throwing out a pair of flip flops worn through by many hours spent on the pebbly red-dirt paths in South Africa. The sun was warm on my shoulders when I went to see the kids for the last time at preschool, held them in my lap and chased them around the playground. Mighty and Chance held me tight around my neck and asked me not to leave. Similo told me he loved me and that he'd be sad without me...and the others were too young to understand yet that this was it. Another goodbye in their small lives so filled with them.

I ate a lunch with Alanna that neither of us were hungry for. We went to our last volunteer meeting and Anna surprised us both with a treat from Milky Lane, SA's version of Dairy Queen.

With every hug and well-wishing, I fought against the tears that still found their way out the corners of my eyes and the lump in my throat grew harder and larger. And the time kept going by-so fast. I needed more time...but no amount of time would ever have been enough to help me feel ready to leave them.

We woke up the Lions from their nap, sleepy angel eyes with warm cheeks and tousled hair. The wood floor of their bedroom was the most precious place on earth when they all came to sit with us, soft, small hands holding red paper hearts with their names and pictures and the words "I love you".

And then it was over and time to go. I've never wanted so much to miss a flight.

We sat in the airport and watched the clouds cry their own tears and for an hour pitchfork lightning shot across the darkened expanse of night sky.

I miss them just as much today as I did in that hour in OR Tambo International Airport. A piece of my heart is there still...but it aches less. They're still in my dreams at night, the tears still come but there's joy in life that isn't caught up solely in a location or even in the ones I love, whether in South Africa, Colorado, or North Carolina. The Lord has faithfully brought me through the many changes that have come this past year and I'm excited for everything that the future holds.

"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called it's name Ebenezer, saying 'Thus far the Lord has helped us.' "

Today my eyes are opened to all that God has done for me. And as the line in one of my favorite songs says "Here I raise my Ebenezer." Today I'm remembering that thus far the Lord has helped me--and praising Him for it.

Giving thanks

By Mary

Life has been full the past couple of weeks and internet time hasn't been my top priority. With holidays, weddings and looking for a house, there's been lots of time away from our apartment and lots of decisions to be made. However, it's also meant extra time with my husband and new friends so I can't complain.

We put an offer on a house 5 minutes away from the military base where Nick is stationed. If everything goes as planned, we may be able to move in before Christmas.

On Thanksgiving Eve my sister-in-law and I were invited to a Thanksgiving fun day at a private Christian school that some of the kids in our church attend. They had the cutest little program in their Pilgrim and Indian outfits, loads of games and prizes, hay rides and a pony ride and a big Thanksgiving lunch.

Yesterday we spent the afternoon and evening at a friend's house, playing with their dog, their boys, their Catchphrase, Mad Gab and Phase 10, and of course eating another big Thanksgiving meal.

And time after time my mind goes wandering back to last year, the first time I spent the holiday away from home. Alanna and I had the fun of shopping and cooking for twenty people from over seven different countries who of course had never celebrated Thanksgiving.

This year I missed my family, Alanna, the children of my heart. And God is just as worthy to be praised, glorified and thanked as if I had all of them here with me this very minute.

Thanks-giving is not a day but an attitude of the heart, something that should be based not on circumstances but on the Giver of every good thing. He has blessed me and continues to do so every day in a thousand ways.

Happy Thanksgiving!

happy thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving I'm once again far from home, sitting on a couch in South Africa as I wrote up this blog on a scrap of paper. Today I'm thankful for the opportunity to love....
Putting the Lions to bed last night was a good summary of what I'm thanking God for. I remember mostly sitting on the little blue baby couch with Solly, Warren, and Kingston. We were just cuddling, reading books, and listening to the Tarzan soundtrack. Solly on my lap, thumb in his mouth, hand touching my face. These are the precious moments- the ones I'll never forget.
I had another such moment this morning, when someone carried sleepy Martin into the nursery, and he slept on my shoulder for close to an hour. When he woke up, he leaned back his sweaty head, smiled at me, and leaned forward with his lips puckered for a kiss. Really it's hard to believe that God's given me this gift of being with him again.
My heart is so full for all of them today. Last night was one of those nights when I could cry just for loving them so much- for wanting so much for them. I just knelt on the floor of their bedroom as they fell asleep and prayed for them. I can't explain the intense longing in my heart that they'd come to know Christ. I want for them a double adoption- into God's family and into an earthly family of their own. In the meantime, I'm so blessed to be here to love them. Here to kiss their sleepy foreheads in the dark, to pick them up when they stumble, to cheer for them when they succeed. And this- the opportunity to love them and to tell them about God's love for them- this is one thing I'm thanking God for this Thanksgiving.

Our Faithful Father

by Alanna

On Friday night we got the news, unexpectedly, that Siyabonga will be going back to live with his dad on Sunday. It was such a shock to me and I did nothing but cry initially. Now that I've had time to think, I have so many questions. I wonder if Siya will be safe, if his dad truly loves him, if he will come to know the Lord. I can no longer influence his little life by telling him about his Creator. He is going to be gone and I will never see him or hear anything about him again. The thought of it breaks my heart, and it hurts. There's another part of me also, the part that likes to feel like I am in control. That part of me feels so utterly lost. I was never in control in the first place though. Siyabonga has always belonged to God. Through the past fifteen months that I've known and prayed for him, he has never been mine. His future has always been in God's hands, and even though I'll never see what that looks like, God knows. My Father, full of lovingkindness and compassion, sees Siyabonga and loves him more than I ever could. My Father, who is so infinitely faithful, will pursue Siya even now. I pray that He pursues him with His love until Siya relents and falls into the arms of his heavenly Father-the One who will never let him go.

this too shall pass

By Mary

Recently the phrase "and this too shall pass" came up in conversation in our house. It's in the Bible right? At least we'd all heard it mentioned in sermons, or at least had it thrown out in Christian circles. Of course none of us had any idea where it might actually be--Paul's letters maybe? Jesus speaking?--but it seemed like it should be in there somewhere.

Obviously we had no luck finding the actual quotation in the Bible.

Reading through the Bible however, that same encouragement and the hope of that promise-- though not phrased exactly the same--is found throughout the Old Testament and the New.

Our God is mighty and powerful and He has an eternity more wonderful than any imaginations in store for His people.

And there shall be no more curse, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him. They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them lights. And they shall reign forever and ever.
He who testifies to these things says, "Surely I am coming quickly."
Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!



(for trivia's sake, other Bible-like phrases not directly quoted in the Bible include "spare the rod, spoil the child", "the eye is the window to the soul", "the lion shall lie down with the lamb", "pride comes before the fall" and perhaps most controversially "do unto others as you would have others do unto you.")

the music we feed our children

by Alanna

The past week of mine here in South Africa was spent on nightshift-which involves mostly cleaning, and also feeding the younger babies. During nearly the whole night the radio is on, tuned to 94.7 South Africa's version of Colorado's 107.1 (in other words, typical secular music) Although I used my ipod quite frequently and switched off the radio until someone else turned it back on, I was still subject to quite a lot of trashy music-for hours on end sometimes.
I am literally horrified by the music we listen to in our culture.
(Thanks be to God, because not long ago I was putting up with probably half of what they play on such radio stations)
Listening to this music makes my soul feel oppressed-there is nothing edifying about it. Next time you turn on the radio or your ipod, please analyze what you're listening to. If you are not willing to analyze lyrics honestly, you are most likely listening to trash. Explicit songs about perversion and using other people's bodies for your own pleasure are a mockery in the face of Christ who died to pay for such sins.
I am grieved that the babies here are subject to so much of this type of music and also grieved that I'm not in leadership and so there is only a limited amount I can do to fight it.
Anyway, someone mentioned to me that maybe we shouldn't let anything into our home on the TV that we wouldn't allow in real life. If we wouldn't want our children to see a murderer in their home, why do we allow it on TV? It was thought-provoking to me and I am concerned about the things we feed our children. Is there such a thing as movies that "go over their heads" because they are "too young to understand"? Should we play trashy music while our babies sleep?
I think that children absorb much more than we suspect. From even before birth, I wonder if children are being saturated with the kind of values we want them to hold as adults. If we want our children to grow up with their lives focused around the Lord, then why do we so often fill their minds with just the opposite?
Let's consider how we can influence our children by the things that we watch and listen to. It is more than just our words and actions that speak to them. It is the values embedded in music that w allow to soak into their little minds and hearts. Let us mold the children entrusted to us into the kind of men and women that respect and love each other rightly, pursuing God with their whole hearts.

News of the day

By Mary

This morning it was hard to muster up the courage to get out of bed, to throw off the warmth of the covers and face the cold. It's been chilly lately. Gray skies and blustery breezes. My new slippers have become well-acquainted with my feet and I always have a blanket handy when I sit down to read.

It's the kind of weather perfect for baking cookies and stirring up a pot of hot apple cider.

Snow is on my mind--the sad fact that I most likely won't get to see more than a dusting this winter. I've always believed that cold without snow is the saddest sort of cold. I'll just have to follow the advice I've been given and bundle up in sweaters for a walk along the beach. If I can't have the things Colorado has to offer, I might as well enjoy the things Colorado doesn't have.

Like the parades and the festivals and the craft fairs, or the little Parson's General Store just down the street. There's the historic district of Beaufort and the once a month free concerts held on the docks there throughout the year. Or the twice a month movies in the summer.

There seems to be plenty to enjoy if you know where to look.

We're halfway through our college class, with midterms this week. We'll be going over everything we've learned about Bibliology and Theology and starting on Christology the next week.

The Awana program at church is settling down into a pattern...though several of the leaders have been discussing changes that need to be made. My brother is currently the acting commander as our commander is undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatment throughout the week. Please be in prayer for his healing. He's such a wonderful, godly man.

This is my first year working with the T&T girls and I'm completely amazed sometimes at how little basic Bible knowledge they have. Or basic vocabulary and memorization skills. We've begun sharing prayer requests with one another (though one of my girls didn't understand that concept either) I want to be faithful in prayer for them and that Wednesday nights would be about more than playing some games and earning candy and Awana bucks.

The election results I've seen so far last night and this morning have only shown me that all the things I voted for were voted against by the majority.

Sometimes life seems like a hopeless struggle against the world, against darkness and ignorance and vice. At times it's hard to care, the passion dies down, for what's the point of putting in the effort? But the future is so bright. We don't have to save the day, only follow God through each moment of it. He's already taken care of the rest.

White as Snow

By Beth

Driving to work today, I looked up. For days clouds billowed in the west and hid, as under a veil, everything in that direction. But today, as I looked up, there was revealed the clearest range of snow-capped mountains. Cool, crisp, pure perfection.

"God," I said, "What purity! Lord what beauty..."

And ever so gently He said, "This is how I have cleansed you. Whiter than snow. Purity, perfection."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

He sees me spotless because He has washed me with His blood. He sees me spotless because He that was spotless has exchanged His white robes for my filthiness.

How can I not thus conclude that that Lord is good?

"Come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."-Isaiah 1:18



[the above was shared by our dear friend, to help keep us connected to the home life in Colorado while we're both many miles away]

encouragement from Amy Carmichael...

by Alanna

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
(Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the Crucified,)
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay
The hope no disappointments tire
The passion that will burn like fire,
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

“To any whom the Hand Divine is beckoning; count the cost, for He tells us to, but take your slate to the foot of the Cross and add up the figures there.”

Strength of my heart, I need not fail,
Not mine to fear but to obey,
With such a Leader, who could quail?
Thou art as Thou wert yesterday.
Strength of my heart, I rest in Thee,
Fulfil Thy purposes through me.

“We profess to be strangers and prilgrims, seeking after a country of our own, yet we settle down in the most un-stranger-like fashion, exactly as if we were quite at home and meant to stay as long as we could. I don’t wonder apostolic miracles have died. Apostolic living certainly has.”

growing pains

By Mary

When I was little there was a period of time when I kept waking up in the middle of the night because my muscles were so achy. And I couldn't understand why. My mom told me it was because I was growing which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Why did growing have to hurt? She spent so many hours holding me late at night, sitting in her rocking chair rocking me back and forth till I could sleep again.

The ladies Bible study at church is going through a study on the life of David by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur. And during the discussion last week I was reminded of those nights.

Spiritual growth isn't easy. It costs something. It can be painful. There will always be opposition and things getting in the way. Transformation doesn't come in two simple steps.

But it's worth it. The blessing and the trials, the highs and the lows, they all work together in God's glorious plan to form one more feature of our lives into one that reflects Himself.

hope

By Alanna

“And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:3-5)

Last night at bible study we read these verses, and talked some about hope. How good character brings about hope, because hoping is such a hard thing to do sometimes. How our hope should be grounded in the love of God- and thus it will never be disappointed. I want so badly to really hope for things- that amendment 62 will pass; that these children here will be adopted; that God will save the unbelievers here; that He will do radical things. Although I don’t allow myself to say it, I often view some situations as “hopeless.” Oh how God has proved me ridiculous this past week. Emma getting adopted, Faye soon leaving also. Our God is not a god of hopelessness, but the One whom I desire to earnestly hope in- without doubting. I want my prayers and hence my actions to be characterized by hope. Our God is indeed worthy of it.

“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Living life on purpose

by Mary

A friend at church asked me what I'd been up to all week. And I couldn't think of a thing to tell her. Maybe its just my lack of memory. I know I've felt busy lately though I don't have a job or go to school every day. But maybe it's a lack of living life purposefully.

God rained purpose on my life when He redeemed me from an eternity of just deserts. My life will never be without reason. But do I live that way, with a goal for each moment, each action? Do I take every thought captive and and inhale each breath to know and serve my Savior and Lord?

Whether in Colorado, North Carolina, or South Africa, yes God is faithful. But He also asks things of us. He has desires, a will, a plan for us wherever we are.

A friend once told me "be content, but don't settle." Don't let life carry you along where it wills like a twig caught in a current. Think and speak and live with intention. Live life on purpose.

the work God wants of us

By Alanna

It has been now nearly two weeks since I arrived back in South Africa. TLC is the same n so many ways, much more familiar than even I expected it to be. It is also new- with different volunteers, different babies, and a lighter work load.
The past two Monday nights, we’ve had a bible study around the bonfire, which has been very encouraging. We have been praying together there- especially for the older kids here who are still not free for adoption. God has answered some such prayers already, in His infinite goodness. One of my dear little Lions, who will be three in just 11 days, is getting adopted next week! Also the beautiful girl here with CP, is looking likely to be adopted internationally before Christmas. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
At bible study we talked about loving well. About being stand-in mothers and fathers for the children here, and about praying for them hard and often. Zoe also said something very convicting. That we are here ultimately not even for the children, but for God. This is the work He has us doing, but if He tells us to do something else, we wll stop this and do what He tells us. It seems so natural- this obedience thing. But really it’s something I am constantly learning. I am so heart-full to be in South Africa now. Not complete, because I am so far away from those I love. But I feel full of joy because THIS- loving these children well- is the work God wants of me, at this time in my life. May He be glorified, and may He empower me to be obedient to wherever else He calls me.

p.s. TLC is struggling financially. Everyone who has been involved here long-term says that it’s never been this bad before. The cupboards are fast emptying and there is no money to fill them again. Last night we had only potatoes for dinner, and today I don’t know. We need milk and bread and basic food for the babies and all of us. I don’t believe in begging for money, only presenting a need. If God puts it on your heart to give, don’t hesitate to ask me how.

Wall Street

By Mary

There's been a few too many posts by Mary lately and not nearly enough Alanna. She's arrived safely at TLC and is settling back into working and loving and serving. Please be in prayer for physical and spiritual health for all the volunteers. Working long hours with so many little kids, you're always a little sick. And I long for spiritual revival to sweep over the whole ministry. Also be in prayer for Thea Jarvis who has been dealing with a lot of health problems over the past few months.

Who knew you could miss someone so much when you never see them anyway?

The days lately have been full with one thing and another--church events, projects, time spent with my brother and sister-in-law before he starts his new-found job, phone calls to home, cleaning and cooking and shopping and Bible study and lots of prayer.

Perhaps it's due to the many people who are on my heart. I can't be with them so I pray for them. And one of those beloved people has been reminding me that God is powerful. "We have not because we ask not..." So I'm asking. For big things. Things only a big God can do.

I'm investing more of myself here...my time, energy, thoughts. I'm so happy that my dearest friends are willing to put in the effort to stay in touch as I haven't been very good at initiating.

The weather here has cooled down significantly since a tropical storm came through and dropped over ten inches in one day. I'd still love to have a chilly fall day in Colorado with crunchy leaves, hot chocolate and my friends and family.

On our two month anniversary, I went to see a movie called Wall Street with my husband, my brother and my sister-in-law. I wasn't really sure what it was about or if it would be good but I really enjoyed it. The acting and filming were great. The story was interesting and though-provoking. I felt like I could sit back and observe the characters actions and feel involved without actually relating to them. And I saw Bible truth, though neither the characters nor I'm sure the people who came up with the movie support Bible truth.

"If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, and is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.

Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we shall bring nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

I was reminded of how fleeting the things of this world and even the lives we live in this world really are and how shaky is any foundation besides the Rock of Ages.

It was a modern day telling of King Solomon's life, and though the characters may not have reached his same conclusion, the film clearly portrayed that the conclusion of the whole matter is to:

"Fear God and Keep His commandments
For this is man's all.
For God will bring ever work into judgement
Including every secret thing
Whether good or evil. "

a new morning in North Carolina

Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness...

The Love of Christ

By Mary

Usually, it would be Alanna's turn to be writing here. But Alanna and two more of my friends are in Paris today, halfway to a wonderful little corner of the world--a small farm in Eikenhof South Africa, just outside of Johannesburg and known as The Love of Christ ministries.

TLC is a children's home that exists to care for orphaned, abandoned and HIV+ babies. It was begun in April 1993 by Thea Jarvis when she took in her first two abandoned baby boys. It has since grown into a nursery of about 40 0-3 year olds supported by a small office staff and a more hands on volunteer staff of ideally 20 people.

The goal of TLC is to not only to care for the babies health and developement but to pour love and life into their lives. Pray for God to fill and use Alanna and Joshua and Kaila to meet their spiritual needs and draw near to Him.

moving forward

By Mary

My heart is whirling through a thousand different feelings and the rain streaming down outside matches the showers on my cheeks.

I have a hard time with saying goodbye, with letting go, with moving on.

My mind wanders back to the evening one year and forty-eight days ago when Alanna and I stood in Denver International Airport with our families, tickets in our hands, bags already checked, not wanting to move towards security, give that last hug or say goodbye.

I'd already had my last phone call with my boyfriend, hanging up with tears in my eyes and wondering as I turned off my phone, leaving it on my nightstand and following my parents out to the car, just how we would do with four months of next to nothing. Long distance was already hard.

And then standing in the airport with my parents and Alanna's family who are like my own...it hurt so much to leave the ones you spend every day with and know and love and care for.

Four months isn't long. Six months isn't either. We've sent friends off to college and out to start new careers and through those goodbyes I've realized the world doesn't end. Not everything changes. God is still in control and life can be happy. I don't worry about our friendships lasting through it all. I know they're stronger than that.

What hurts when saying goodbye is the way my heart feels in knowing the people I love most today, won't be right next to me tomorrow.

And for me, what hurts today is not just thinking of Alanna and my two other friends going so far away. It's the thought of being so far from my babies. Of anyone else showing them their love while I can't. It brings back some of the feelings of guilt for ever leaving them in the first place.

I know this time how Alanna is setting herself up to love and be hurt. She knows it. And I'm proud of her for going anyway. I don't envy that. But part of my heart cries for South Africa, just as part of it cries for Colorado and part of it feels at home here. And here right now is where I belong.

I can't live in the time that has passed. Holding it tight won't bring it back. I don't want it back because that means I wouldn't have today. Today is God's gift to me. And I'm learning still and most likely always will be learning to take that gift and move forward with it...even with my heart scattered all across the world.

sent out with God's gifts

by Alanna

This morning in church, I was greeted by a couple who gave me data cds full of good music. They had burned them for me after they heard what kind of music I liked- something to encourage me on my trip. In addition to the cds, they'd also given my mom a book of african stories to read to the kids there. Next a lady in my church gifted me with a songbook- all the Cornerstone worship songs- complete with my name printed on the front! Then my pastor gave me the curriculum that he'd bought, with the money of willing others in the church. He prayed for me before he preached, and for the first time I felt equipped by a church. I feel sent out. It is such a motivator to me- to share the gospel in South Africa, to pour God's love into the lives of everyone there. When people have things invested in you, it makes you feel the burden and the joy that much more.

God also has gifted me- with an amazing and supportive family who loves the Lord. Last night I got to sit and look at photo albums with my three youngest sisters. It's blessings like them that make leaving so incredibly painful. But tonight, after facing more goodbyes, I was greeted by several emails by some fellow believers. God knew I needed encouragement this night, and he provided. When God calls, He will equip and enable and send out- with gifts.

a bit of home

By Mary

This has been quite the busy week. Second college class, third night of Awana, two month wedding anniversary and three days full of spending time with my newly brother and sister-in-law.

You'd think I'd know it by now, but God has a pretty great sense of timing. The moving in is over. The newness is wearing off. And it's getting to that point where I don't really have an answer for people when they ask what I've been up to all day. It only takes so long to straighten up a one bedroom apartment and cook dinner. And of course some people don't understand the fact that reading for several hours a day is actually quite enjoyable for me.

But I'm quite ready to forgive the interruption to my reading that has come along with my brother and sister moving into town.

They're a bit of the home life, that home-feel. It reminds me of last year in South Africa-possibly because Alanna is heading back so soon, or maybe just due to the fact that it's never far from my mind.

Some days were just lonely. And the best moment on those days was when someone brought the mail...and there happened to be something for you. A little piece of paper that connects you with the comfortable and the familiar, the known and the loved.

And even though this place is slowly becoming home in a way, it's a breath of fresh air to have a little bit of home this week.

half of my heart

by Alanna

In a week and a half, I'll be boarding an airplane to go back to the place I love, in South Africa. Lately when people talk to me, they ask (or more often simply assume), "you must be so excited!" And I am. Excited to be in a place where my heart can love to the utmost everyday, excited to be with babies again, to be serving, to partake in something that fills me to overflowing with joy and life. I can't wait to go back to a life of snotty noses, dirty nappies, small arms around my neck, a tiny fist clasping my finger.

But at the same time, I am scared. I am not strong enough to leave my family for so long, to miss out on the fellowship and love and opportunities in America. And most of all, I am scared of loving too much. It is the kind of love that fills my insides so physically that it hurts. Almost exactly 13 months ago, I met a little boy who God seemed to have brought especially for me to love. There was no use fighting my affections for him, my desperate prayers for him, and my mother instincts. God grew my heart and my capacity to love, and yet He asked me to say goodbye. It was the hardest thing He has ever asked me to do. Soon I will be a part of Martin's life again- seeing all the miraculous changes that God has wrought in his life. And I am so scared. Scared because Martin is not my son, and I have nothing but a "fool's hope" that he could be someday. Scared because I don't know how to be a mommy and yet not a mom to someone I love so much. And I am terrified of saying goodbye again. The thought of it twists my insides and breaks me to pieces. Is it possible to love too much?

Today I'm asking God if maybe He has the wrong person. I don't feel strong enough to have my heart so split in two. Somehow it is a comfort to me that God never changes. He is full of compassion and lovingkindness. He may dash my heart to pieces, but it will be for His glory and His plans. Surely if God could love us to the extent that He would sacrifice His only Son, then it is impossible to love too much. I want to learn to love through my fears- to love not for my sake, or even for Martin's, but for Him who loved me enough to die for me.




half of my heart's got a grip on the situation

half of my heart takes time

half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that

half of my heart won't do

this or that and the most important thing

By Mary

Life is settling back down into it's rhythm like the ocean waves-always unpredictable. At times gentle and peaceful and at others swift and fierce; but always ebbing and flowing, out and in with the tides.

It's been hard to settle down since our trip back home. The cooking and the cleaning, that's all fine. But with the empty house from the kiss goodbye in the morning til dinner time at night and the weight of the miles between me and my family and my family of friends...my heart began to feel empty. And the emptiness filled me in a way--the way a hunger neglected for so long leaves room only for a dull ache in the pit of your stomach.

And it's so easy for me to wallow in that--and then turn around and put on a smiling face and all the right words to cover it up.

My husband is master of the art of "keeping it real". Sometimes it gets him into trouble. But he also helps me see that keeping it perfect is neither the only option nor the best option most times.

When I'm content to show the world only a surface perfection with the right answers given with a cheerful voice at the right moment, I also learn to look for nothing deeper. I'm content with the shallow happiness, the shallow relationships, the distant friendship with God and the quiet ache inside.

In the midst of a crazy week of long hours at work and long work related phone calls after work for my husband, we made a little time one evening to work on another lesson from our Bible study together. The focus Bible passage was Colossians 3:1-14-

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting that the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you dies, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to on another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all. Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies. kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do.

I've read these same words time after time and heard multiple lessons on them through the years. And this time around, they meant something again.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with Alanna last month about standards-not simply avoiding the "bad" things but seeing what is good and right and edifying. Getting rid of one thing and taking up something better. We aren't commanded to just stop dwelling in sin. Or to think on middle ground thoughts. Rather we are supposed to think on things that are pure and noble and good. That's the life we're supposed to pursue.

Life is supposed to be more than fine. It's supposed to be wonderful and difficult and confusing and thrilling.

I have a choice every day, every moment--this or that? Live in the flesh, and experience shallow Christianity or pursue the good things, even being vulnerable and letting others know when life isn't just good. Maybe even let them bear my burdens with me?

And through the choices and the failures and the good times and the bad, learning more and drawing closer to the most important thing--a vital, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

togetherness

There are few things in life

so beautiful

as true friendship,

and not many things

more uncommon.

weddings and blessings

by Alanna

Last weekend was such a beautiful time. Michael and Janelle, two of my dear friends, got married on Saturday afternoon. Also Mary and Nick were in town, which made everything infinitely more wonderful =) I am just amazed by the love of God, and His goodness demonstrated through such a multitude of blessings. Among these are the blessings of friendship, family, love, and fellowship. Also, I have been thinking about marriage and what a blessing it is. Marriage is a picture of Christ's love for the church. It is an earthly symbol of the relationship between Jesus and His beloved bride. Granted, we as the church are not a perfect bride. We mess up, fail often, and imperfectly represent our Maker. Christ loves us anyway. He loves us unconditionally and self-sacrificially. He gave up everything- His entire life- to redeem us. Husbands are to "love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are to submit to and follow their husbands' leading. How joyfully and easily we should be able to do this! God Himself has given His all for us. "But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything" (Ephesians 5:24).

Although I can't pretend to have any marriage experience, God has been laying this subject on my heart. I wonder how different Christian marriages would look, if husbands truly loved and served their wives without an ounce of selfishness in them. If wives submitted to and served their husbands just as we as the church are commanded to follow Christ.

That is the excitement of a wedding day! The beautiful gift and priviledge; the awesome responsibility of showing to the world a picture of Christ and His bride.

Mazel Tov

By Mary

I got to spend five fantastic days in Colorado with my husband, my family and all my best friends celebrating my brother's wedding. And since we had five days, who could blame us for celebrating the beauty of the Rocky Mountains, the wonderful inexpensiveness of the used book store by my parents house, the way God listens to as well as answers our prayers, and in general the incredible friendships He's given to us all.

The night before my brother's wedding, his best man told us he would be using the phrase mazel tov a lot the next day. Which stirred up the discussion about what the words actually meant. Congratulations? Best wishes? A blessing on your head? So I looked it up. It's a Yiddish phrase, literally translated as good luck or fortune and used to acknowledge good fortune occurring for someone--such as the blessing of marrying the person God has given you to love forever.

Thinking about that phrase makes me remember the many gifts I've been given. Life and laughter; the way I grew up and the people who grew up around me. Hope and joy; the chance to learn and travel and love and hurt.

It was even harder to leave home this time than it was last time. I don't know when I'll be coming back, or what will have changed in the in-between. And still, God blesses me here in a new home, living and learning with my man. And waiting to see what He has in store next.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

Hagar

by Alanna

I'm sorry to have not written for so long. This week has been busy, but I will write about all that another time. For now I just want to put some verses that God encouraged me with this week from the story of Hagar and Ishmael. Hagar flees from the presence of her mistress, and an angel of the Lord finds her near a spring of water. God Himself notices her affliction and promises her a son.

Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her,

'You are a God who sees';

for she said, 'Have I even remained alive here after seeing Him?'

Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi

(i.e. the well of the living one who sees me)

Genesis 16:13-14

"Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them,

because they were distressed and dispirited

like sheep without a sheperd."

Matt. 9:36

What a God of compassion and lovingkindness we serve! That He would see us- in our brokenness and lost condition, and make a promise of redemption to us. Praise the Lord!

The choices that we make

By Mary

Life is full of choices, everyday. What to eat, what to say, how to spend the next hour, the next month, the next year. Sometimes they don't seem to matter at all and sometimes it will be the end of the world if we make the wrong decision. Or at least it looks that way.

Every little choice has a consequence, good, bad, or indifferent.

And I marvel at the way God uses every one of them. We can't avoid the repercussions of a bad action, much as we might regret it the second after. But God is in the business of redemption. Not only has He given us a future but a hope for today in the midst of our mistakes.

"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten..."

asking God

by Alanna

So after some fairly recent convictions from God, I've gotten back into my Bible more regularly. After skipping around for a while, I'm starting back at the beginning- Genesis and Matthew. It's been refreshing and new to me in a lot of ways. (I love how God can do that, even after you've read or heard something so many times, your eyes can be opened to see the wonder of God's story all over again). Another thing I've been doing is writing down questions- things I don't understand. Although this simple task may seem like a no-brainer, it is actually a new concept to me in my Bible reading. In the past I've honestly just skimmed over most of the passages or verses that I don't quite comprehend. Skimmed over in the sense that I don't search for answers to my questions.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"

Matthew 7:7-11

These verses, to be honest, have always fallen into that category of 'skimming over' in my mind. They sound great and encouraging, and I've always wished that I really believed them. Of course, I do believe that they are true.....but really? EVERYONE who asks receives? And EVERYONE who seeks finds? I can look back on countless times in my life when I have asked God, and it was not given to me. Memories of times when I have not received.

The first thing that I noticed when I read these verses this week, was that there was a little subnote 1 next to the word "ask," a small subnote 2 next to the word "seek", and the subnote 3 next to the word "knock." The margin in my bible to which these numbers refer, says "or Keep asking, or keep seeking, or keep knocking." I remember a sermon I heard a few months back, about this very verse. My pastor said this same thing- referring to the passage of the woman who pesters the judge until he gives her protection. Luke says that Jesus tells this parable "to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart" (Luke 18:1)

So I have a new resolution, to pray and not lose heart. To keep seeking, keep asking, keep knocking. Maybe there's a significant difference between knocking once then sighing in frustration and walking away because God didn't answer the first time, and knocking over and over again, refusing to leave until God answers my request. I want to be like the widow with the judge. I want to pester God. Not just for general things, but for specific requests and people that He has laid on my heart. I want to refuse to leave until He grants these petitions, or gives me a clear no.

I think Jesus was telling the truth in Matthew 7 =) Maybe He likes to be asked, over and over again, so that He can give and open the door for His children.

Dishes and lightning and fellowship suppers

By Mary

Hurricane season officially started in North Carolina this last week. As we drove to church for an evening service, the clouds rolled in thick and heavy and the darkest gray I've ever seen. Every morning I wake up to cloudy skies and rain by the afternoon. And even though it's put off my plans to explore the small beach within walking distance of our apartment, I love it.

Watching if fall while doing dishes at night with my husband is the best.

And they bring back so many precious memories-so many mad dashes outside when someone announced the falling rain. Singing worship songs while waiting out a storm in the mountains. Puddle jumping and Chinese fire drills on the forth of July, years ago. Driving around to Chik-Fil-A in a wonderfully leaky car...

But the memories that run across my mind when I stand in front of the sink and the lightning brightens the sky are from a little place in South Africa, so dear to my heart, where I learned to love doing dishes by hand and saw the most incredible lightning day after day and night after night. Every time I do the dishes or watch the lightning split the sky, part of me aches to be there again.

And yet, how wonderful to have been given each moment, each memory a moving picture in my mind full of the sights, the sounds, the exact feel of that instant. And how awesome that I have the gift of each new day. God still brings the rain and of course there's always more dishes. Not only am I blessed with the moments that are past, but with each new day--with more memories to be made, more life to enjoy and live for Him.

Then there's the completely new, certainly unique experiences that come from 1) a new marriage 2) being a Marine wife 3) living in the South 4) going to a baptist church in the South.

I love the church, though I have to admit, I think they abuse the poor amen word. And I haven't quite gotten used to the forever long greeting time. I like the men of the church randomly getting asked to pray and I like them teaching each week before Sunday school. And I'm officially a big fan of all the food-involving fellowship time (which happens a lot)

But it's a lot more than eating good food and running along with the rest of life. It's sharing food, yes, but sharing life, sharing good times, sharing problems.

I have a good store of memories here already. And I'm excited to see the things God has in store for the future.

chicken quesadillas

by Alanna

Downstairs in the kitchen right now, there are some dear friends of mine- slicing cheese, mixing garlic powder and butter, and preheating the grill for chicken. This is a process that happens pretty often at my house, so much that I think we have all become quesadilla-making experts. The smell of garlic butter and grilled chicken reminds me of Mary (because she was traditionally a part of this process =), but most of all it reminds me of fellowship. Quesadilla making is nearly always accompanied by something- whether that be praying on a Friday night, or talking about theology or other such topics. Always there is laughter, talking, and fellowship.

I've come to see lately that fellowship is so much more than simply hanging out with other Christians. Fellowship is asking hard questions- finding out what God has been teaching your brother in Christ. Fellowship is exhorting somebody to read the Word. It is being able to ask questions about the Bible, and discuss theology. It is praising God together- worship, prayer, and thanksgiving for even the small things. Fellowship is being able to accept rebuke from a fellow Christian because she knows that what you are doing is not what Christ would have you do.

So often I take fellowship for granted. God showed me that somewhat in Africa last fall, when most of the time I had only Mary as a mutual spiritual encourager. I missed my family in Africa last year. I missed the small body of Christ that He has placed me in here in Colorado. God gives so much grace through other believers! We are truly His tools, if we allow ourselves to be used by Him. We are tools built to encourage and build up each other.

Tonight I'm thankful for fellowship. I'm thankful for best friends, for my family, and for fellow redeemed people to share God's gifts of grace with. I pray that we never take that for granted., and that we never allow fellowship to become nothing more than simply hanging out with other Christians. God is so good to rescue us- and to rescue us not alone, but to make us part of the family of God. All glory to Him!

In the midst of it All

By Mary


My husband and I took a walk through the darkness with the stars overhead, my hand closely covered by his, and we strained our eyes to be sure the shapes on the sidewalk were legitimately leaves and not some disgustingly large bug that would scurry out under our feet at just the wrong moment. I"m a visual person. I remember things better if I actually see them. I like to see where I'm going, especially if it enables my to avoid things I'd rather not step on. But hard as it was to see, I realized the dark heightened my other senses. We stopped to listen to the bubbling of a fountain in a yard across the street. The salt water smell drifted on the air from the boardwalk and a sweet southern garden filled my head with it's scents as we walked by.

In a way it's like my life right now.

My comfort zone is almost two thousand miles away. Everything, everyone I'm used to having near me to trust and depend on is not just in the next room. Or a quick drive away. They're there for me if I need them them to be. It's just different. And I can focus on the bad parts, the hard stuff, the things I don't like--or even simply the things that I miss. But that would be like trying to hard to use my eyes in the dark that I forget to breathe in the charm of a hundred flowers or taste the saltiness on my lips.

God is everywhere and I know His plan for me is right here, right now. I can choose to seek it and find the beauty of it or let my own plans and distractions get in the way.

I'm so easily distracted. My mind is always flitting from one thing to another, like a bird hopping from one branch to the next, never quite deciding where to settle.

I thought it would be easy to keep God at the forefront of my heart and mind. While my man works, I assumed it would be easy to remember that He is my constant companion and that I'd turn to Him about everything. Instead I focus on the tasks at hand, from unpacking and cleaning, to cooking and writing emails. I forget to involve Him in all these little things and make them about Him. I'm realizing I have to fight just as hard to not get caught up in the world--even if it's only the little world of my house and mind.

God must be my all before I can be anything for anybody else. And I know He is here now just as He's always been in the midst of it all.

the only life worth living

by Alanna



The past few weeks have been full- the funeral of my Grandfather, the wedding of my best friend, a 64-hour work week, and finally a family vacation to Illinois and Wisconsin. God has been so evident in all these affairs, always faithful, drawing us closer to Himself. Life seems to change quicker than I am ever prepared for, and how blessed I am to have a God who never changes- He who in fact writes the script.



I have been especially challenged and encouraged in the past week or so- convicted about things, and urged to live life for Christ alone. My younger brother and I attended a camp in Wisconsin for the latter part of family vacation. It lasted for less than 4 days, and through it God convicted me in numerous ways. He opened my eyes to my apathy and complacency, the tolerance for sin that I so often allow into my life, and the half-heartedness that so often characterizes my relationship with Him. So often my life is defined by what I want, where I want to go, what I want to do. Life is not about us. Jesus tells us clearly to deny ourselves and follow Him (Luke 9:23). We are to crucify our flesh and walk in the Spirit. So many thoughts and desires have been put into my heart in the past week- the desire to love God, to pursue Jesus Christ with every breath in my body, and to witness to people about the truth. I'm praying that God would give me the strength to follow Him, because without Him it is impossible.

The book I'm currently reading is called "To Die is Gain," the story of the martyrs John and Betty Stam. Two quotes by Betty Stam sum up my assortment of thoughts for the night.

"When we consecrate ourselves to God, we think we are making a great sacrifice, and doing lots for Him, when really we are only letting go some little, bitsie trinkets we have been grabbing, and when our hands are empty, He fills them full of His treasures."

"It's as clear as daylight to me that the only worth-while life is one of unconditional surrender to God's will, and of living in His way, trusting His love and guidance."

Old thoughts with a new name

By Mary

Here's an assortment of my thoughts from the past several weeks. Please excuse the long absence--we were both quite busy with a wedding and and vacations...=)

The last month was a whirlwind of last minute wedding details, of out of town guests, last chance get togethers with friends and the strange feeling that it couldn't possibly be all for my own wedding. Even in my veil and the most beautiful dress I'll ever wear, standing next to my dad watching my dearest friends in the world walk down the aisle ahead of me, it felt unreal.

Even after the fact it feels that way sometimes. I asked my husband yesterday if it ever felt weird to him that we're really married. I think he thought I was a little crazy. But I hope I never lose that little bit of awe at the gift of being married to the man of my dreams.

Life is starting to take on a pattern again--and it's so completely different from the one it had before. Where there was one, now there's two. A new name, new state, new church and a whole new set of things to get used to as the wife of a Marine.

So much is foreign right now--even my own last name. And despite knowing previously that marriage wasn't all a piece of cake, I guess I never really thought about how it would shine a spotlight on my sin. How clearly selfishness and pride show up when all the normal comforts and confort zones are taken away and you're left to get along with each other day in and day out.

God has blessed me so much already, to give me a godly man to submit to and love, to forgive and be forgiven.

It's rained every day since we've been back in North Carolina. I love a good rainstorm. I generally take rain as God's own personal little gift to me. It came down hard all day once at the end of our honeymoon. We were able to sit outside on our hotel room balcony and watch the slate gray clouds roll down across the sky and blend in with the stormy ocean. I've never seen a storm like that over the ocean--little pitchforks of lightning shooting down into the waters that swelled and broke in violent white crested waves. And all the while a thick curtain of rain poured down, obscuring the horizon.

How glorious God is, mighty and powerful. Remember to look for Him everywhere--a stranger's smile, an old friend's hug, the long awaited blessing and the unexpected challenge. In every grain of sand and every drop of rain...

His faithfulness

We serve a great God. Greater than our fears, our desires and the changes that we face.

His faithfulness is just as evident when we stand thirsty in the desert as when our thirst is quenched by the rain-if only we'll look for it.

Through every season of life, He remains the same.

Compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness.

These are the lessons Alanna and I have been learning side by side over the course of our friendship.

God seems to teach us a lot of the same things. At the same time.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that half the time we can look at each other and know that the same thoughts are running through our heads.

C.S. Lewis said "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'"

We started calling each other twins after the first dozen or so times we had that "you too?" moment.

Six years later it still applies. But one week from now, we won't be living 2 minutes away from each other to share those moments whenever we feel like it.

And its hard. We're each doing what God has called us to do. It's just that now it means doing them separately. But He is just as faithful.

And wherever we go in life we want to share that with each other, share it with the world.

Our God is great and worthy to be praised.

And come what may we'll be praising Him.

Still friends.