It's Christmastime

By Mary

Life always seems to get even more busy than usual during the last couple months in the year. Add house-hunting, buying and moving into all the parties and extra activities and you have a busy holiday season. We're all moved in to our new house--which stays warm, has space for a kitchen table, has cupboards that both open and close without a fight, an oven that doesn't set off all the smoke alarms everytime I heat it over 375 degrees and a stove top that doesn't tilt all the liquid into the back of the pan. I'm thankful. I'm sure it'll be my favorite Christmas present this year.

There's not a box to be seen in the house--they're all sitting in the garage, waiting for trash day. I do have a assortment of odds and ends waiting to find their place, a large stack of picture frames looking for the ebst spot on the walls and several stacks of books that require another bookcase before they can move off the floor.

But it's home and it's ours--and it's a wonderful feeling.

We decorated our Christmas tree last night and I've only bought one present--almost three months ago when I happened upon it in the store and couldn't pass it up. I have the feeling Colorado-bound Christmas presents will be a bit late this year.

Christmas music is everywhere, the city put up green wreaths and red bows and lights shaped like snowflakes and angels blowing trumpets all along the roads. And every night there's a different Christmas special on tv.

We never did the Santa Claus thing when I was growing up and I'm amazed at how many songs and shows are all about him, how everyone wants to make him the star of Christmas. I can go on about how silly or awful that is until I stop and think how much like my own life it is. As some say, Jesus is the reason for the season. Ultimately that won't change even if everyone forgets His birth altogether. And He is and will be the reason for each one of us, whether we live that way or not. One day everyone will recognize it. But me...having recognized it, why should I go on in a way that reflects me as lord of my own life? Where His light and love and humility in my life?

It's Christmastime...and Jesus is the reason for the season and every breath that we take. Let's not forget to live that way.

a heart-holding God

by Alanna

This morning was one of those precious moments- the ones you want to capture forever. It was my last night of nightshift, and at around 4:30 I heard a familiar cry. It was my little boy, probably woken up with a bad dream. I ran to his crib, held him in my arms and kissed him. Then I put him back to bed and finished the rest of the cleaning up and preparing for dayshift. At 5 a.m. I went back to his crib and he was just lying there awake, so I got him up and laid on the couch with him. He laid still for a little, sucking his fingers, but soon decided that he’d rather be playing peek-a-boo and laughing. I carried him to the kitchen, his head resting on my neck and the blanket around us. It was beautifully still and quiet, and I warmed up the bottles for morning as I rocked him in my arms. Matt Kearney music was playing softly, and the sunrise just lighting up the morning. One of those moments when my heart overflowed with the love of the King.

Hard things are being done with my heart these past few weeks. There is a fear that maybe my boy will be going soon to a man that is ungodly and from my earthly point of view, not much of a home. I have been praying earnestly about adopting him, not only to keep him from this, but also because it has been the cry of my heart since the night when God first brought him to me. God will have to do a lot in many people’s hearts to make that possible, but my God is not daunted by any obstacles. He is so incredible and so loving. I feel as if He is holding my heart, and that He has placed His hand around me. On the other side there is looming fear and worry, and if He were to let me go, I would be overwhelmed by it. The tenderness and compassion of our God has been so proven anew to me this week. His peace does indeed surpass understanding.

His love is strong

for my family

by Alanna

Last night was just one of those times when my heart ached for my family. Talking to some of them on the phone was so wonderful, but also hearing their voices just makes me want to see them and just be with them. It’s strange because I feel at peace that TLC is where God wants me. I love it and am so incredibly blessed to be taking care of these beautiful children. I still long, though, for those who are most dear to my heart. So this blog is for all of you, my family.

To my big brothers- Daniel, Gordon, and Wesley. I don’t often express to you, but I am so grateful to have such wonderful men to look up to as protectors. It has been such a blessing to get closer to you now as we are older, and to be able to talk with you and ask for advice. You always treat me right and because of that I have learned to never accept anything less from a guy. Thank you for being there for me, for watching out for me, for caring about me. I love you.

To my tall little sister. You amaze me Maresa. Your strength is such an inspiration to me. The way that you fight for joy and the compassion that you have for those struggling. I love laying on your bedroom floor and talking to you, or being woken up by you at 5 in the morning because you have to tell me news about Phillip. Hearing from you about the things that God teaches you is such an encouragement to me to keep on learning, to keep on growing. You are such a beautiful person, and I could never thank God enough for letting us be sisters.

To my Isaac. Where to even begin? You know I love you right? You know I miss you so much here. I might not always be good at showing you, but I love having you around. I love that you hang out with me and my friends, and that I can talk to you about anything and everything. I like riding in my car with you and letting you DJ the music. I love getting hugs from you, even when I’m grumpy. I love doing ministry with you, and I love that God teaches us and grows us together.

To my little sisters- Jasmine, Susan, and Amirah. There is a special place in my heart for you, and I think of you everyday. I love being with you. I know that I am often busy and seem to be gone a lot, but really if there is one place I’d love to be- it would be sitting on the couch with you three and reading together or just talking and laughing. I love you so much. I hate to be missing such a big part of your growing up- 6 whole months. But I know that God is taking care of you and growing you into the beautiful girls that He has created you to be. I cannot wait to see you again.




To my parents. Coming here and loving these kids has given me just a small taste of the love that you have for all of us. I am amazed at the self-sacrificial love that you’ve poured out through all these years. And still more encouraged that it is the love of Christ working through you, that has made such a difference in our family and in my life. Dad- thank you for being the provider and the protector, and relying on God for all your strength and sanity. Mom- thank you for being my best friend. I love you.

I love you all so much. I know that I say it a lot, but I can never say it enough. I am so thankful to have you in my life and I praise God for giving me such a wonderful family. You all are my strength, the means that God uses to equip me for serving Him in other places. You have taught me how to live, rejoice, and love well.

Thus far

By Mary

A year ago I was packing, writing goodbye notes to friends, throwing out a pair of flip flops worn through by many hours spent on the pebbly red-dirt paths in South Africa. The sun was warm on my shoulders when I went to see the kids for the last time at preschool, held them in my lap and chased them around the playground. Mighty and Chance held me tight around my neck and asked me not to leave. Similo told me he loved me and that he'd be sad without me...and the others were too young to understand yet that this was it. Another goodbye in their small lives so filled with them.

I ate a lunch with Alanna that neither of us were hungry for. We went to our last volunteer meeting and Anna surprised us both with a treat from Milky Lane, SA's version of Dairy Queen.

With every hug and well-wishing, I fought against the tears that still found their way out the corners of my eyes and the lump in my throat grew harder and larger. And the time kept going by-so fast. I needed more time...but no amount of time would ever have been enough to help me feel ready to leave them.

We woke up the Lions from their nap, sleepy angel eyes with warm cheeks and tousled hair. The wood floor of their bedroom was the most precious place on earth when they all came to sit with us, soft, small hands holding red paper hearts with their names and pictures and the words "I love you".

And then it was over and time to go. I've never wanted so much to miss a flight.

We sat in the airport and watched the clouds cry their own tears and for an hour pitchfork lightning shot across the darkened expanse of night sky.

I miss them just as much today as I did in that hour in OR Tambo International Airport. A piece of my heart is there still...but it aches less. They're still in my dreams at night, the tears still come but there's joy in life that isn't caught up solely in a location or even in the ones I love, whether in South Africa, Colorado, or North Carolina. The Lord has faithfully brought me through the many changes that have come this past year and I'm excited for everything that the future holds.

"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called it's name Ebenezer, saying 'Thus far the Lord has helped us.' "

Today my eyes are opened to all that God has done for me. And as the line in one of my favorite songs says "Here I raise my Ebenezer." Today I'm remembering that thus far the Lord has helped me--and praising Him for it.