The choices that we make

By Mary

Life is full of choices, everyday. What to eat, what to say, how to spend the next hour, the next month, the next year. Sometimes they don't seem to matter at all and sometimes it will be the end of the world if we make the wrong decision. Or at least it looks that way.

Every little choice has a consequence, good, bad, or indifferent.

And I marvel at the way God uses every one of them. We can't avoid the repercussions of a bad action, much as we might regret it the second after. But God is in the business of redemption. Not only has He given us a future but a hope for today in the midst of our mistakes.

"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten..."

asking God

by Alanna

So after some fairly recent convictions from God, I've gotten back into my Bible more regularly. After skipping around for a while, I'm starting back at the beginning- Genesis and Matthew. It's been refreshing and new to me in a lot of ways. (I love how God can do that, even after you've read or heard something so many times, your eyes can be opened to see the wonder of God's story all over again). Another thing I've been doing is writing down questions- things I don't understand. Although this simple task may seem like a no-brainer, it is actually a new concept to me in my Bible reading. In the past I've honestly just skimmed over most of the passages or verses that I don't quite comprehend. Skimmed over in the sense that I don't search for answers to my questions.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"

Matthew 7:7-11

These verses, to be honest, have always fallen into that category of 'skimming over' in my mind. They sound great and encouraging, and I've always wished that I really believed them. Of course, I do believe that they are true.....but really? EVERYONE who asks receives? And EVERYONE who seeks finds? I can look back on countless times in my life when I have asked God, and it was not given to me. Memories of times when I have not received.

The first thing that I noticed when I read these verses this week, was that there was a little subnote 1 next to the word "ask," a small subnote 2 next to the word "seek", and the subnote 3 next to the word "knock." The margin in my bible to which these numbers refer, says "or Keep asking, or keep seeking, or keep knocking." I remember a sermon I heard a few months back, about this very verse. My pastor said this same thing- referring to the passage of the woman who pesters the judge until he gives her protection. Luke says that Jesus tells this parable "to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart" (Luke 18:1)

So I have a new resolution, to pray and not lose heart. To keep seeking, keep asking, keep knocking. Maybe there's a significant difference between knocking once then sighing in frustration and walking away because God didn't answer the first time, and knocking over and over again, refusing to leave until God answers my request. I want to be like the widow with the judge. I want to pester God. Not just for general things, but for specific requests and people that He has laid on my heart. I want to refuse to leave until He grants these petitions, or gives me a clear no.

I think Jesus was telling the truth in Matthew 7 =) Maybe He likes to be asked, over and over again, so that He can give and open the door for His children.

Dishes and lightning and fellowship suppers

By Mary

Hurricane season officially started in North Carolina this last week. As we drove to church for an evening service, the clouds rolled in thick and heavy and the darkest gray I've ever seen. Every morning I wake up to cloudy skies and rain by the afternoon. And even though it's put off my plans to explore the small beach within walking distance of our apartment, I love it.

Watching if fall while doing dishes at night with my husband is the best.

And they bring back so many precious memories-so many mad dashes outside when someone announced the falling rain. Singing worship songs while waiting out a storm in the mountains. Puddle jumping and Chinese fire drills on the forth of July, years ago. Driving around to Chik-Fil-A in a wonderfully leaky car...

But the memories that run across my mind when I stand in front of the sink and the lightning brightens the sky are from a little place in South Africa, so dear to my heart, where I learned to love doing dishes by hand and saw the most incredible lightning day after day and night after night. Every time I do the dishes or watch the lightning split the sky, part of me aches to be there again.

And yet, how wonderful to have been given each moment, each memory a moving picture in my mind full of the sights, the sounds, the exact feel of that instant. And how awesome that I have the gift of each new day. God still brings the rain and of course there's always more dishes. Not only am I blessed with the moments that are past, but with each new day--with more memories to be made, more life to enjoy and live for Him.

Then there's the completely new, certainly unique experiences that come from 1) a new marriage 2) being a Marine wife 3) living in the South 4) going to a baptist church in the South.

I love the church, though I have to admit, I think they abuse the poor amen word. And I haven't quite gotten used to the forever long greeting time. I like the men of the church randomly getting asked to pray and I like them teaching each week before Sunday school. And I'm officially a big fan of all the food-involving fellowship time (which happens a lot)

But it's a lot more than eating good food and running along with the rest of life. It's sharing food, yes, but sharing life, sharing good times, sharing problems.

I have a good store of memories here already. And I'm excited to see the things God has in store for the future.

chicken quesadillas

by Alanna

Downstairs in the kitchen right now, there are some dear friends of mine- slicing cheese, mixing garlic powder and butter, and preheating the grill for chicken. This is a process that happens pretty often at my house, so much that I think we have all become quesadilla-making experts. The smell of garlic butter and grilled chicken reminds me of Mary (because she was traditionally a part of this process =), but most of all it reminds me of fellowship. Quesadilla making is nearly always accompanied by something- whether that be praying on a Friday night, or talking about theology or other such topics. Always there is laughter, talking, and fellowship.

I've come to see lately that fellowship is so much more than simply hanging out with other Christians. Fellowship is asking hard questions- finding out what God has been teaching your brother in Christ. Fellowship is exhorting somebody to read the Word. It is being able to ask questions about the Bible, and discuss theology. It is praising God together- worship, prayer, and thanksgiving for even the small things. Fellowship is being able to accept rebuke from a fellow Christian because she knows that what you are doing is not what Christ would have you do.

So often I take fellowship for granted. God showed me that somewhat in Africa last fall, when most of the time I had only Mary as a mutual spiritual encourager. I missed my family in Africa last year. I missed the small body of Christ that He has placed me in here in Colorado. God gives so much grace through other believers! We are truly His tools, if we allow ourselves to be used by Him. We are tools built to encourage and build up each other.

Tonight I'm thankful for fellowship. I'm thankful for best friends, for my family, and for fellow redeemed people to share God's gifts of grace with. I pray that we never take that for granted., and that we never allow fellowship to become nothing more than simply hanging out with other Christians. God is so good to rescue us- and to rescue us not alone, but to make us part of the family of God. All glory to Him!

In the midst of it All

By Mary


My husband and I took a walk through the darkness with the stars overhead, my hand closely covered by his, and we strained our eyes to be sure the shapes on the sidewalk were legitimately leaves and not some disgustingly large bug that would scurry out under our feet at just the wrong moment. I"m a visual person. I remember things better if I actually see them. I like to see where I'm going, especially if it enables my to avoid things I'd rather not step on. But hard as it was to see, I realized the dark heightened my other senses. We stopped to listen to the bubbling of a fountain in a yard across the street. The salt water smell drifted on the air from the boardwalk and a sweet southern garden filled my head with it's scents as we walked by.

In a way it's like my life right now.

My comfort zone is almost two thousand miles away. Everything, everyone I'm used to having near me to trust and depend on is not just in the next room. Or a quick drive away. They're there for me if I need them them to be. It's just different. And I can focus on the bad parts, the hard stuff, the things I don't like--or even simply the things that I miss. But that would be like trying to hard to use my eyes in the dark that I forget to breathe in the charm of a hundred flowers or taste the saltiness on my lips.

God is everywhere and I know His plan for me is right here, right now. I can choose to seek it and find the beauty of it or let my own plans and distractions get in the way.

I'm so easily distracted. My mind is always flitting from one thing to another, like a bird hopping from one branch to the next, never quite deciding where to settle.

I thought it would be easy to keep God at the forefront of my heart and mind. While my man works, I assumed it would be easy to remember that He is my constant companion and that I'd turn to Him about everything. Instead I focus on the tasks at hand, from unpacking and cleaning, to cooking and writing emails. I forget to involve Him in all these little things and make them about Him. I'm realizing I have to fight just as hard to not get caught up in the world--even if it's only the little world of my house and mind.

God must be my all before I can be anything for anybody else. And I know He is here now just as He's always been in the midst of it all.

the only life worth living

by Alanna



The past few weeks have been full- the funeral of my Grandfather, the wedding of my best friend, a 64-hour work week, and finally a family vacation to Illinois and Wisconsin. God has been so evident in all these affairs, always faithful, drawing us closer to Himself. Life seems to change quicker than I am ever prepared for, and how blessed I am to have a God who never changes- He who in fact writes the script.



I have been especially challenged and encouraged in the past week or so- convicted about things, and urged to live life for Christ alone. My younger brother and I attended a camp in Wisconsin for the latter part of family vacation. It lasted for less than 4 days, and through it God convicted me in numerous ways. He opened my eyes to my apathy and complacency, the tolerance for sin that I so often allow into my life, and the half-heartedness that so often characterizes my relationship with Him. So often my life is defined by what I want, where I want to go, what I want to do. Life is not about us. Jesus tells us clearly to deny ourselves and follow Him (Luke 9:23). We are to crucify our flesh and walk in the Spirit. So many thoughts and desires have been put into my heart in the past week- the desire to love God, to pursue Jesus Christ with every breath in my body, and to witness to people about the truth. I'm praying that God would give me the strength to follow Him, because without Him it is impossible.

The book I'm currently reading is called "To Die is Gain," the story of the martyrs John and Betty Stam. Two quotes by Betty Stam sum up my assortment of thoughts for the night.

"When we consecrate ourselves to God, we think we are making a great sacrifice, and doing lots for Him, when really we are only letting go some little, bitsie trinkets we have been grabbing, and when our hands are empty, He fills them full of His treasures."

"It's as clear as daylight to me that the only worth-while life is one of unconditional surrender to God's will, and of living in His way, trusting His love and guidance."

Old thoughts with a new name

By Mary

Here's an assortment of my thoughts from the past several weeks. Please excuse the long absence--we were both quite busy with a wedding and and vacations...=)

The last month was a whirlwind of last minute wedding details, of out of town guests, last chance get togethers with friends and the strange feeling that it couldn't possibly be all for my own wedding. Even in my veil and the most beautiful dress I'll ever wear, standing next to my dad watching my dearest friends in the world walk down the aisle ahead of me, it felt unreal.

Even after the fact it feels that way sometimes. I asked my husband yesterday if it ever felt weird to him that we're really married. I think he thought I was a little crazy. But I hope I never lose that little bit of awe at the gift of being married to the man of my dreams.

Life is starting to take on a pattern again--and it's so completely different from the one it had before. Where there was one, now there's two. A new name, new state, new church and a whole new set of things to get used to as the wife of a Marine.

So much is foreign right now--even my own last name. And despite knowing previously that marriage wasn't all a piece of cake, I guess I never really thought about how it would shine a spotlight on my sin. How clearly selfishness and pride show up when all the normal comforts and confort zones are taken away and you're left to get along with each other day in and day out.

God has blessed me so much already, to give me a godly man to submit to and love, to forgive and be forgiven.

It's rained every day since we've been back in North Carolina. I love a good rainstorm. I generally take rain as God's own personal little gift to me. It came down hard all day once at the end of our honeymoon. We were able to sit outside on our hotel room balcony and watch the slate gray clouds roll down across the sky and blend in with the stormy ocean. I've never seen a storm like that over the ocean--little pitchforks of lightning shooting down into the waters that swelled and broke in violent white crested waves. And all the while a thick curtain of rain poured down, obscuring the horizon.

How glorious God is, mighty and powerful. Remember to look for Him everywhere--a stranger's smile, an old friend's hug, the long awaited blessing and the unexpected challenge. In every grain of sand and every drop of rain...