the adornment of good works

by Alanna

  Lately I find myself wearing two pieces of jewelry, which for me in the past was a pretty uncommon phenomenon. I'm not a big jewelry girl. The thing is, that the two things I like to wear both represent someone else. My engagement ring reminds me of the man who gave it to me, and every time I see it I'm reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to love and be loved by him. I'm still quite astonished by the fact that I get to marry him someday. And I'm proud to be his fiancee, because I think he is simply the best. So I wear this ring to remind myself, and to tell the world a story of God's goodness to me. Around my neck I wear a small little nest on a chain. The two beads in there represent me and my son. And it reminds me of the precious gift that I was given in him, and the beautiful things that God has done in both our lives. That story is harder for me to tell, more complicated, more sorrow all wrapped up in it. But still I wear it because I am thankful, and to remind myself of the love I've been given.
 
   I want some visible way to tell the world of the greatest love I have been given. Is there a symbol that we wear that says to the world, "I belong to Jesus"?  I'm so thankful for His love, so undeserved and so immeasurably great. And then I remembered this verse in 1st Timothy 2.

  "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness."

   Good works. I want this to be what people notice about me. Not the way I dress, not the way I look. I want to be adorned with good works, and in this way perhaps I might "adorn the doctrine of God our Savior" (Titus 2:10). If we make a claim to godliness, if we affirm that Jesus is resurrected and at work in us, we should be clothed in good works. Good works are not the gospel or our salvation, just as my ring is not marriage and my necklace is not motherhood. But I hope that good works adorn the story, that others see and glorify God. And I hope that God's sanctifying work in us, reminds us of His great love. May His love be the first and the last and the most prevalent thing that anyone notices in me.    

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?" 

-2nd Corinthians 2:14-16

 

healing

By Mary

You're a whole year old now little one. And somehow another month has already sneaked by since your birthday. Everyone says you're face is looking so much older, like a child, not a baby--and that you seem so tiny to be walking around the way you do. I'll miss your wiggly crawl. But I love each step you toddle around the room, especially those last few you take so quickly when you've almost reached where you're going.

And I'm so glad you're small, so roly poly, but still small. These days with you go by so fast even the fussy ones and the ones where your will comes out strong.

Love for you overflows in me...and sometimes watching you, I think of other sweet ones that found a place into my mother-heart when you were just a someday thought. They taught me so many things but especially appreciation. I'm so grateful I get to get you out of your crib every morning, smiling and laughing and jumping up and down with eagerness to be gathered into my arms.

I didn't know how it would be to love you all but I hoped you'd heal the ache in my heart that dulled with time. It doesn't hurt anymore, every day. But I know that was a gift separate from you. You don't fill their place, just as loving them could never take away an ounce of my love for you. And I'm glad. I'm glad for the wistfulness of sweet memories, the dreams that still visit me sometimes at night, and even the tears that find their way into my eyes when three years feels so long ago. I'm so thankful for the little miracles God has worked in their lives to give them families to love and be loved by. And I'm so so blessed to have you be in my family. You're just the best thing for your daddy and me little girl. I love you.

time moves fast

by Alanna

   I have these moments where I am suddenly aware that time is passing so very quickly. Sometimes I'm filled with excitement, sometimes with awe and gratitude. Sometimes I shake my head in disbelief, like when I stood in front of a mirror for the first time trying on a wedding dress. The things God does, the way He moves so fast sometimes. My summer was one of emotional turmoil, and I wondered how life goes on when you lose your only one and grieving looks immense. And there was God, comforting me and knowing all along that in one year's time I'd be deep in love and marrying a man. And I realize this- He trades beauty for ashes. But that doesn't mean that there won't be ashes. He gives us all these moments, the hard ones, the beautiful ones. And it's crazy because I still cry tears of sorrow, even though on some days I cry tears of joy.

   Sometimes its hard and scary, the way time goes. I sit in a dark room and sing "Jesus Paid it All" over two little sleepy heads, and every time I close my eyes and can feel that I'm in that room in South Africa. I hold a tiny baby in my arms and I remember the way my little one's face looked so peaceful when he slept. I can hear the way they laughed and they remain heavy in my heart. I loved loving them. Sometimes love is beauty and ashes all mixed together. And this Christmas when I cried for missing my little one, I felt a strong presence next to me and I wondered in my heart that God gave me this man. I used to wish for the past, to let nostalgia deceive me into believing that things would be better if time stood still. I don't think that anymore.

    I'm thankful that God doesn't let time stand still. I'm thankful for these memories I treasure in my heart, thankful for the beauty, for the love, even for the sorrow and the ashes because they keep me tied close to the God of all comfort. Thankful that God does new things all the time, that He is the Giver of all good things, that He makes all things new. He is the Author of time and all these moments that make up our days. I want to hold these things in open hands. To offer much thanksgiving to the Giver, and to bow my head in submission when He takes something precious back from me. Because He is trustworthy and He has oh so much more to give.  

romance of the Savior

By Mary

This Christmas really brought God's tender, personal love for us to forefront of my mind. It blows my mind when I really stop to think on it...His beautiful plans, His sacrifices, His faithful, constant pursuit.

This happens with my husband too--I overlook little gestures of his love, I take things for granted, stop treasuring, lose sight of the big picture because I get caught up in insignificant details of life.

I do the same thing with my God.

I forgot His plans before time began to be in relationship with us and all His works and sacrifices to bring that to be ever since He created the world. I overlook the separation from His Son, my guilt-payment poured on His Child.

I read His words of love every day as a matter of course and forget the magic and enchantment that this love is for me.

It's beautiful. It's everywhere...in Son of God born human baby, in grace and forgiveness and mercy...in snowflakes falling from the sky on Christmas Eve.

His love is perfect.

away

By Mary

We just got back from a Christmas trip home to Colorado, which I could try to blame for my absence on our blog but really this lack of written word is sort of a theme in my life right now. and the real reason why I've been away. I haven't journaled in months and keeping up with emails and letters has even been a struggle. I didn't really make a list of New Year's resolutions, but if I had, consistency in all those things would be on it.

God is doing such beautiful things in the lives of many dear friends. I'm so happy for Alanna, so glad to have had the chance to meet the love of her life and see even more clearly that God brought them together and how they're already learning to show honor to one another and love each other well. It's just one of the many good gifts my Father gave me this Christmas season. I hope you're counting yours.