healing

By Mary

You're a whole year old now little one. And somehow another month has already sneaked by since your birthday. Everyone says you're face is looking so much older, like a child, not a baby--and that you seem so tiny to be walking around the way you do. I'll miss your wiggly crawl. But I love each step you toddle around the room, especially those last few you take so quickly when you've almost reached where you're going.

And I'm so glad you're small, so roly poly, but still small. These days with you go by so fast even the fussy ones and the ones where your will comes out strong.

Love for you overflows in me...and sometimes watching you, I think of other sweet ones that found a place into my mother-heart when you were just a someday thought. They taught me so many things but especially appreciation. I'm so grateful I get to get you out of your crib every morning, smiling and laughing and jumping up and down with eagerness to be gathered into my arms.

I didn't know how it would be to love you all but I hoped you'd heal the ache in my heart that dulled with time. It doesn't hurt anymore, every day. But I know that was a gift separate from you. You don't fill their place, just as loving them could never take away an ounce of my love for you. And I'm glad. I'm glad for the wistfulness of sweet memories, the dreams that still visit me sometimes at night, and even the tears that find their way into my eyes when three years feels so long ago. I'm so thankful for the little miracles God has worked in their lives to give them families to love and be loved by. And I'm so so blessed to have you be in my family. You're just the best thing for your daddy and me little girl. I love you.