I started driving again. I don't have many places to go, seeing as I am now a college dropout and have no job. But still, there's the occassional trip somewhere. Always its a battle of some sorts- to keep on the right side of the road. My mind always leads me right, but when I turn down the road to our house, my heart always turns the wheel tight so that I hug the left.
In my wallet, there's a $20 bill and an even smaller R20 note. The pocket for change is filled with South African coins, and a lone American quarter. In my bedroom sits an empty suitcase. I emptied it almost right away, but never found the willpower to actually carry it down the stairs.
Tonight my mom showed me the baby blanket she's been crocheting. It's almost finished. A beautiful brown pattern with a creme border. For her first grandson. (I know his name and the feel of his hand in mine. In my memory, I can hear his laugh and can trace the shape of the scar on his scalp). Tonight I have so many questions. All kept to myself because I've asked them so many times that by now I know that there won't be an audible answer. Tonight I am just empty, and I miss the left side of the road.
No comments:
Post a Comment