September 10th
by Alanna
My class drives me crazy sometimes. I never imagined I could have such a difficult time with a group of 6-year-olds. I never imagined my patience was so lacking, and my love so utterly inadequate for these little ones. Yesterday I borrowed the English word 'manic' to describe the kids in my class. At the end of the day, I wanted to cry and some of them already were.
I was in such a grumpy mood that night, that I laid on the floor with pen
and paper, and didn't get up until it was full of things I am grateful
for. Not things I made up just to list, but actually beautiful and good
things that God has done and is doing in our lives.
Today was dia de los ninos- day of the children. It is the day to celebrate children and how precious they are to God. Why can't I see them as precious as He does? Love for kids has always come so easily to me. These days loving is hard and messy and I don't have enough to go around. Today was a new day, different than all the days before. (Every day is new right?) I celebrated them. We ate together and laughed together and one boy helped me sort papers after school. In the midst of it, my most trouble making student called me over to his desk and said "Usted es el mejor maestra!" (You are the best teacher). These days I feel anything like that, but oh that boy made me smile today.
Sometimes I wonder what we are doing here in Honduras. My husband
shows me on my ipod, a note from months ago, in which I thanked God for
"the possibility of living in Honduras". I laughed and thanked God that we are here now, even when its hard. Because there is so much good in this chaos.
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