Thursday, June 17, 2021

identity and my safe place

 by Alanna

The day after my son overturns my heart in the kitchen, I am driving past our pond and suddenly it comes to my heart out of nowhere. Who is my safe place? 

 People come and people go. A lot of both lately, but two people so close to us are leaving in the next 10 days. One we likely will never speak to again. One has become such a kindred spirit and I am not sure what I will do without her. Thankfully God does. In all these things I hurt.  I long for a safe place. Someone to hold me and whom I can find rest in.  I fight so hard for approval from people, fickle and sinful. Beautiful but marred. Long for a sign that my kids love me back, that any of all this investing has a payoff somewhere. But what am I fighting for really? Who am I? This morning I cried so hard because letting people close to you means letting them hurt you. It means forgiveness and crying in the shower and into your pillow, swallowing all that pain but really just surrendering it. Remembering that on the cross Jesus bore all of our sins and all of our sorrows.

People come and people go. Like me, broken. I love them but I can't find myself in them. Jesus is my Redeemer, brother, friend. He is my safe place.  

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