the days to come

 by Alanna

Tomorrow my mom will fly home, and about a week afterward my brother will go too. My husband and I will be the team that keeps on here, in this place where God has sovereignly placed us. This morning I cried for a moment because I am anxious when I look forward. How will we take on all of these responsibilities? How do I start daily caring for 6 small people age 7 and under? Homeschooling, laundry, meals, cleaning, heart shepherding, changing nappies, doctor appointments. How will my husband hold up with full time seminary, part time work, and all that he does here morning and evening and all his spare time devoted to his children and me? I fear sin conquering me in these long days to come. I fear my impatience and my temper and my murmuring and my discontentment.  The Lord knows. 

He is a God who sees. He saw Hagar and called to her, not the once but twice. And He opened her eyes too- to see the well of water that was already there. "Fear not...up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation." (Genesis 21:18)

He is a God who multiplies. Broken fragments of bread, totally insufficient. ("There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?" John 6:9) In His hands, fragments become baskets of excess.

He is a God who is with me. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

He is the bread of life, the living water, the One from whom when we drink we will never thirst again. 

He is the light of the world. Those who follow Him will not walk in darkness. Those who hope in Him will never be put to shame. 

He is a promise keeper. "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." He is able. 

I may lack what I need. Energy, strength, patience, love, time. But I will not lack Him. And in Him is everything. My sufficiency. His name is a strong tower. He is enough. Not just today in my quiet house while the baby sleeps, but in a month when two are fighting and three are hungry and one poops up his back and the other needs a nap. When I feel sucked dry, He will be enough.