tuesdays with mom: featuring anna

(today we're swapping blogs with my dear friend anna marie. you can read my post at glittersmallworld.blogspot.com, after reading hers here)

there aren't enough moments in the day to think about lucas.

i try to accomplish things,

small things like brushing my teeth,

bigger things like projects at work,

all the while my heart beats his name.

lucas.

lucas.

lucas.

i try to make promises i know aren't real to myself.

you'll be okay.

time will heal old scars.

but i know this isn't true.

my heart knows no time.

and though lucas died three years ago,

he died yesterday

and today

and tomorrow, when i wake up and my mind registers

the brand new light of day,

he'll die again.

he doesn't slip away with time,

doesn't fade out like an old star,

but he sits there in my memory,

brand new,

every morning.

i know that countless orphans die each day.

i know that each one of them deserves a family,

and deserves love.

my heart breaks because i'm here, not there.

i'm a star burning out

i think

i fade as each young life sets too soon.

but the memory of lucas is always there to remind me

that no,

we shine together,

somewhere in that vast amount of sky

and if he doesn't burn out for me,

than i don't burn out for him.

come visit lucas and i over at glitter, small world.

-- 
Anna Guntlisbergen
www.glittersmallworld.blogspot.com