intentional parenting and making time

By Mary

With four friends due before the middle of June and three baby showers to attend within a month of each other, in addition to all my other friends with slightly older babies, toddlers and kids, I’m surrounded by the baby craze.

It’s fun to have all those months of planning and things to do (or dream of doing) before baby arrives. I like to look at the registries and see everyone’s style and ideas of what’s necessary. It’s fun to see how everyone fixes up the nursery for their new little one. I enjoy the showers with all the time that went into the decorations, food and games, and seeing every present someone picked out special for the baby on the way and the proud momma and daddy. It’s so fun to celebrate the new life just waiting to be presented to the world. (Oh, by the way, I went to a bring-your-favorite-childhood-book shower…best idea ever. I’m so jealous of this little girl’s library.)

So much thought and effort goes into it all and as a parent you’re excited, maybe a little apprehensive sometimes. And then that new little comes along. Earth shattering. I’ve yet to hear someone say it’s just a snappy little transition, no matter how easy-going a person they are, how much work they’ve done with babies or how easy a baby they were blessed with. It changes everything and at first that baby consumes everything-your thoughts, worries, energy, sleep.

It becomes so easy to lose that intentionality we had before they were born, that preparation, that thoughtfulness. And all of that stuff before they were born, it was just the fun accessories. Most of it was nowhere near being necessary.

 I want to be a thoughtful mom. I don’t want to just get from A to B, from feeding to bathing to naptime to bed. I always have to catch myself to be aware of what I’m doing and maybe focus a little less on getting my girl presentably dressed and maybe even have her hair combed before we head out the door. Maybe focus a little more on building the relationship between us and the example I’m being.

 And maybe I need to just slow down a little and recognize what’s important. I’m a stay at home mom and I’ve never been the type to fill my day with lots of activities and scheduled events. But I still need to remember that sometimes its worth it to take my hands out of the dishwater to hold her for a while when she raises her hands to me. Some days the laundry can sit in the washer a little longer so I can read a book to her instead of letting her flip through it by herself.

And when she tries to get out of naptime by snuggling down just right in my arms when I’m about to put her in the crib, maybe it’s not so bad to hold her a little longer and rock with her. And maybe an hour taken out of my day with her falling asleep on my chest is the very best part of it after all.