by Alanna

dear little one,

I miss you today. Perhaps because these mornings I've been praying for you early, and then you stay in my mind. I pray for God to give you joy, to build up your little heart in peace and contentment. I ask for Him to draw you to Himself at a young age, to show you what a miracle you are, and the love He has for you. I ask Him to help you be obedient, submissive to your parents so that you can learn submission to Him. You are growing up, in a lovely family and blessed beyond measure. I don't wish you anywhere else than where God has you. So this feeling is harder to describe now. It's not grief or despair, and it's not purely longing. But it is an ache, a pull of my heart towards yours. I feel your country in my veins today, and this strange pull of my soul there. Here I am in Honduras, with my husband, the man who never got to meet you but who holds me these days when I cry for you. Your birth place is so far away, and the place where you live now even farther. I am where I am meant to be, and so are you my darling. But my heart is knit to you, and so I think of the way your tiny body felt nestled against mine. I remember the tears shed, the miracles wrought, the laughter shared. This love for you grows only stronger, over these years. So I pour out my mother love where it was meant to be poured out, at the feet of Jesus in supplication and thanksgiving for you. You are precious beyond compare my little one. Grow strong. Even though you do not see or feel my love, I pray that it flows from my heart to our Father, and back again to you in floods immeasurable. 

I love you with all my heart.