thankful

by Alanna

  These days I frequently do happy dances around my house, cry, laugh hard, wake up every hour through the night because I'm too excited to sleep, pack my things into boxes, take down pictures of beautiful African kids from my walls, pray and hope and wait with so much expectation. I watch in awe as all these godly women gather at my house- to sew and gather and glue and roll and dip creations. I'm humbled by their encouragement, their support, and the way they intentionally pursue Christ. I'm thankful to have so many godly wives to look up to for advice. I'm thankful for my man and the way his eyes are kind to me and he listens even over Skype. I'm thankful for the way he upholds me with truth and love across these miles. I'm thankful for the way God uses us together sometimes, even now, becoming one. I let the twins sit on my lap for lunch today, because its one of our last. I kiss their blonde heads and sing to them about Jesus because if there is one thing they remember from me, I want it to be Him. I hold my little sister's hand and my dad's arm and walk before sunset with all of them. I'm filled up with blessings, to overflowing. I hug my brother extra these days, touch my tiny nephew's new soft skin, talk late with a friend because now is not the time for sleeping. I'm so filled up with emotion these days that I haven't known what to write here. I feel excitement and joy the strongest. I feel utterly inadequate to teach in Honduras, and sometimes terribly afraid that I won't make a good wife either. I cringe from all these goodbyes coming soon. But mostly I feel FULL. I feel full of gratitude and thanksgiving because God has shown me His love. He has shown me mercy, has gifted me above and beyond all I ever deserved or even imagined. In ten days I'll be called Yonas' wife, and in 8 weeks I'll pack my life into a suitcase and together we'll go. I tightly treasure all this here now, but I also dance with joy when I think of the future. I hope and pray that this filling of blessings overflows into gratitude. Always, only, to the Giver of all good things.

excitement

By Mary

 In just a week (ok ok one week, 15 hours and about 45 minutes) baby and I will be flying back home. Which is completely exciting in and of itself. And to top it all off I get to be a part of Alanna's wedding to a super great guy whom God so clearly brought into her life with His perfect timing. I love their story and I already love what God has ahead of them...more of His big, beautiful plans. And I really really love the friendship I have with this pretty lady

I

 

phantom hands

By Mary

Every time I see a toddler with sweet pudgy hands, my own hands feel a phantom ache, the memory of how it felt to hold your hands in mine.

To this day tears spring to my eyes when those little things take me back to our times together. No more regret or guilt. I just miss you.

So I hold my baby a little bit tighter and rock her before bed a little longer and pray your parents are doing the same. I hope you know how loved you are.

miracle years

by Alanna

Dear little one,

today is your birthday.

this year my hopes for you were more than wishes

because i am certain that you are being loved

and that your birthday was celebrated

and that you were tucked in to sleep by loving hands.

on your half of the world, by now you will be sleeping.

on my half of the world, it's raining cold

and my heart hurts 

because it still longs to be with you

i dumped coins into a machine at the bank

took notes on teaching techniques as i prepare to move far away from here

and all the while i wondered 

what am i doing so far away from you?

i wanted to be with you today, like every day before

but most of all i want you to know that

you are treasured and dearly loved.

this day marks the miracle of 4 years of your life. 

God has done good things in all of them.

today my heart aches for you, but I am thankful

for the precious gift you are

happy birthday little one

i love you with all my heart

always

"Gift of Singleness"

By Mary

I don't know why exactly it's been in my mind so much, this phrase so popular in Christianized circles, "the gift of singleness".

I think it came from 1st Corinthians 7, when Paul talks about marriage and staying single and says "I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another."

What's funny to me when I hear people talk about it is that they usually view it as a state of mind. Like if you're perfectly content without any romantic attachments, no plans or intense desires to get married, or if your life goals and ambitions might make getting hitched particularly difficult, than you my friend have the gift of singleness.

I guess I just see singleness as a state of being. Either you're single or you're not. And the thing is, if you are, it's a gift. You have the gift of singleness. Even if you don't always and even if you'd kind of like a different gift now, thank you.

I think I got on this train of thought because I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. It's easy for me sometimes to forget the loneliness of my heart before I had my man...easy to think how simple it was to mostly just have myself to consult in decision making and preferences of lifestyle and a million other random things. It's especially easy in the moments when my heart feels so lonely sitting right next to the person I married. It takes a little reminding that my marriage just as it is--crazy and faulty and beautiful and growing--is a gift. It's what I have from God right at this moment, to be appreciated, enjoyed, and to make the most of it.

I hope that's what we all try to do with our gifts--whatever they are and for however long we get to have them.

new and beautiful things

by Alanna

  It's the eve of Mother's Day, 

and I'm rejoicing tonight 

because God is doing beautiful things. 

My first nephew was born last Friday night, 

a living, breathing little person, 

with brand new soft skin and eyes wide open. 

It's my sister-in-law's first Mother's Day as a mom.

They've been given such a precious gift

and watching them love him is incredible. 

My cousins have also been given a gift- 

a little girl growing inside, due to arrive this summer. 

They were separated from their first children. 

This Mother's Day, there will be not only hurt but also a reason to rejoice. 

My dear friend lost her first son in Africa. 

He is now in the arms of His Father, 

but every Mother's Day 

has been a reminder of her loss. 

This year, her and her husband began the adoption process for another child. 

And just this past week, they accepted the referral for a little boy in Africa! 

Tonight, my friend is not only a mother bereaved, 

but a mother expectant

with hope and anticipation for the day they get to bring home their son. 

Then there's all these stories of former orphans, 

being tucked in tonight by their moms.

 Those little ones, so long prayed over, never forgotten by their Father. 

I have a list of 70 kids that I've known and loved and prayed for, 

those who are now in families of their own.

God is doing new and beautiful things.

Children can't be replaced, loss is real, 

and grief is not ended by new joy.

Time spent as an orphan can never be undone.

But God gives new gifts, always.

His plans for us are beyond our imagination.

Tonight I am thankful.

I'm thankful that God is creating new life, 

that He is putting together families.

This mother's day,

I don't need to prove to anyone that I am a mom.

He is here in my heart, and tonight

I'm praising God that He gave me such a gift.

I'm praising Him that my little one has a family.

And most of all tonight, I want one thing.

I want for Him to receive the glory,

Because He does new things. 

Moving Day!

By Mary

It was moving day in our neck of the woods last Saturday--my fourth since our wedding, just under three years ago. You'd think I'd be an expert on it by now but I still feel like a beginner. Of course it didn't help that we didn't get boxes to start packing up until just three days before we planned to move everything. I don't recommend that at all. I had a half a week just crammed with nothing but packing.

But somehow we managed it, thanks to a lot of good friends. And as everything is settling down more and more, I think I really like it here. We only moved about 15 minutes away from our apartment...now we live in a townhouse with a little bitty fenced in yard (and Allie-dog couldn't be happier. She seems like a different animal altogether and sooo much more enjoyable)

I like getting to experiment with different kinds of homes to see what we might really like to have whenever we truly settle down somewhere someday. But then who knows? Maybe we won't ever end up finding our little dream house "someday". Maybe it'll just be a little something, somewhere, even in the middle of nowhere, doing something God gave us a passion to do. The future outside the Marine Corps seems so wide and open when we get to dreaming about it. A little exciting, a little scary.

Anyway, I'm leaving you with the beginnings of my moving checklist that I'm starting and adding to with every move. Little things like...

Having paper towels, plates, cups, and plastic utensils on hand, as well as extra toilet paper and trash bags.Which is an essential step towards my plan to

Pack the kitchen first (or at least early on). Everything in the kitchen was a wreck toward the end of my packing anyway, even though I saved it for last. And it all ended up packed way more disorganized than anything else due to the fact that it was last. I think I'd rather live off cold or microwaveable foods for several days and have it all organized.

Deep clean the place you're leaving just before you start packing at all. Then when everything is out you'll just have to do some touch-up work.

Pack an essentials box or bag with things like towels and handsoap and whatever else you'll be wanting for sure the first couple of days. Pack suitcases for your family like you would if you were going on a vacation. Then no matter what comes up right after the move, you'll be able to make it through a few days without scrambling through boxes. (The day after our move was shot as far as unpacking or organizing was concerned since we had a funeral to go to a couple hours away in Virginia)

Last little thought for the day is to have bottled water and snacks already on hand, especially if you have friends helping you do the moving. Keep the masses happy!