The Valley of Baca

by Alanna

 I forgave fall for heralding winter. I didn't want to enjoy anything like the end of summer, but autumn was so beautiful here it took my breath away. In the few weeks that our tree was brilliant red, before its leaves fell one night, I stared at it each day out of my kitchen window and whispered thanks to my Father for such beauty. I have loved fall. Loved stomping through leaves, loved collecting them with the kids, loved raking them up. Loved each drive because everywhere is bursting with color. Maybe I can store up some of this color in my heart and mind's eyes for the grey days to come.

 I haven't forgiven winter yet. Snow may be beautiful, but barren trees and dark days are still not my thing. I read Psalm 84 recently before breakfast to the kids. On the next day Isa said "mom, you read this one yesterday," and I knew but told her it was a good one so I wanted to hear it again.  It has all these beautiful statements in it, cries that echo my heart's cries.  "My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD" (2) And then how the birds find nests "...where she may lay her young, at your altars, O Lord of hosts" (3) But most of all, verses 5-7.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.  They go from strength to strength, each one appears before God in Zion."

Our strength is in Him, not us. The highways to Zion in our hearts, not in our surroundings or our circumstances. This Valley of Baca, this place of weeping, MADE INTO a place of springs. A place filled with pools, us going from strength to strength. The imagery is so beautiful. And I want it.

I know that winter is just a season. That SAD isn't the worst thing a person can struggle with. That this valley isn't unique. That my family isn't an ocean way but just a one night drive. But there are none the less valleys that I walk through, that we all walk through. And I want to turn this one into a place of springs.


I want our home and our family and my heart to be a place of beauty this winter. A place of pools where people feel like they are nourished and cared for.  I want our home to be a haven of warmth and light and beauty when harsh winds blow outside. I want to lead my children by example in gratitude and rejoicing and intentional hospitality. I'm not sure what that looks like, but I want to trust that God knows and He has a plan if only my heart will rest here and stop whining for something different.

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor.  No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in You!"