By Mary
This Christmas really brought God's tender, personal love for us to forefront of my mind. It blows my mind when I really stop to think on it...His beautiful plans, His sacrifices, His faithful, constant pursuit.
This happens with my husband too--I overlook little gestures of his love, I take things for granted, stop treasuring, lose sight of the big picture because I get caught up in insignificant details of life.
I do the same thing with my God.
I forgot His plans before time began to be in relationship with us and all His works and sacrifices to bring that to be ever since He created the world. I overlook the separation from His Son, my guilt-payment poured on His Child.
I read His words of love every day as a matter of course and forget the magic and enchantment that this love is for me.
It's beautiful. It's everywhere...in Son of God born human baby, in grace and forgiveness and mercy...in snowflakes falling from the sky on Christmas Eve.
His love is perfect.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
away
By Mary
We just got back from a Christmas trip home to Colorado, which I could try to blame for my absence on our blog but really this lack of written word is sort of a theme in my life right now. and the real reason why I've been away. I haven't journaled in months and keeping up with emails and letters has even been a struggle. I didn't really make a list of New Year's resolutions, but if I had, consistency in all those things would be on it.
God is doing such beautiful things in the lives of many dear friends. I'm so happy for Alanna, so glad to have had the chance to meet the love of her life and see even more clearly that God brought them together and how they're already learning to show honor to one another and love each other well. It's just one of the many good gifts my Father gave me this Christmas season. I hope you're counting yours.
We just got back from a Christmas trip home to Colorado, which I could try to blame for my absence on our blog but really this lack of written word is sort of a theme in my life right now. and the real reason why I've been away. I haven't journaled in months and keeping up with emails and letters has even been a struggle. I didn't really make a list of New Year's resolutions, but if I had, consistency in all those things would be on it.
God is doing such beautiful things in the lives of many dear friends. I'm so happy for Alanna, so glad to have had the chance to meet the love of her life and see even more clearly that God brought them together and how they're already learning to show honor to one another and love each other well. It's just one of the many good gifts my Father gave me this Christmas season. I hope you're counting yours.
Monday, December 17, 2012
love makes beautiful
by Alanna
Eight days ago the man I love asked me to marry him, and I said yes (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm in awe of God's goodness, amazed at His plans and His perfect timing, rejoicing in what He's given, and thankful doesn't even begin to describe my worship and adoration of Him these days.
I'd like to write about something God has shown me through my fiancee these past months. That is, love makes beautiful. I read it first in a marriage book- that a husband has much power to make his wife beautiful by the way that He loves her and cares for her. Kind of like tending a garden. I didn't understand it much at the time, but I think now I see the truth of this in two ways.
First, love makes beautiful because it begets joy through the knowledge that we are accepted and beloved. I'll be honest here and say that I've rarely in my life felt beautiful. I've struggled with lies about my worth and my identity and a host of other things. From the very beginning of our relationship, this man accepted me. In the beginning I found it hard to believe, and wondered if he would leave when he knew me better. But slowly I let my guard down, and I let him see even the ugly sin inside of me. I began to let go of fear and believe that this man really loved me for who God had created me to be. And I realized then, for the first time in my life, that I felt beautiful. It's a joyous thing, the knowledge that you are cherished.
Love also makes beautiful because it involves our sanctification. God demonstrates His love for us by His redemption of us. He doesn't leave us the way we are. He is rooting out sin in us, and the more we become like Him the more we reflect His beauty. True love doesn't tell you that you are perfect. It asks you to change things that need changing; it encourages you to keep struggling against sin and running again and again to Jesus.
So these things I'm slowly learning. Love begets joy, and joy makes someone beautiful. Love involves sanctification and redemption, and this makes us beautiful as we become conformed to the image of His Son. God has been showing me a faint but beautiful reflection of these truths through my fiancee. So I am praising God and asking Him to keep my eyes fixed on Him and His goodness. Because I find in this love the faint echoes of the deep and furious love of God for us. My identity and my worth are found in Christ. God's redemption and forgiveness of us demonstrates a love I can't even comprehend. His faithfulness toward us is unending because it is sealed with the blood of His only Son.
For the Lord takes pleasure
Eight days ago the man I love asked me to marry him, and I said yes (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm in awe of God's goodness, amazed at His plans and His perfect timing, rejoicing in what He's given, and thankful doesn't even begin to describe my worship and adoration of Him these days.
I'd like to write about something God has shown me through my fiancee these past months. That is, love makes beautiful. I read it first in a marriage book- that a husband has much power to make his wife beautiful by the way that He loves her and cares for her. Kind of like tending a garden. I didn't understand it much at the time, but I think now I see the truth of this in two ways.
First, love makes beautiful because it begets joy through the knowledge that we are accepted and beloved. I'll be honest here and say that I've rarely in my life felt beautiful. I've struggled with lies about my worth and my identity and a host of other things. From the very beginning of our relationship, this man accepted me. In the beginning I found it hard to believe, and wondered if he would leave when he knew me better. But slowly I let my guard down, and I let him see even the ugly sin inside of me. I began to let go of fear and believe that this man really loved me for who God had created me to be. And I realized then, for the first time in my life, that I felt beautiful. It's a joyous thing, the knowledge that you are cherished.
Love also makes beautiful because it involves our sanctification. God demonstrates His love for us by His redemption of us. He doesn't leave us the way we are. He is rooting out sin in us, and the more we become like Him the more we reflect His beauty. True love doesn't tell you that you are perfect. It asks you to change things that need changing; it encourages you to keep struggling against sin and running again and again to Jesus.
So these things I'm slowly learning. Love begets joy, and joy makes someone beautiful. Love involves sanctification and redemption, and this makes us beautiful as we become conformed to the image of His Son. God has been showing me a faint but beautiful reflection of these truths through my fiancee. So I am praising God and asking Him to keep my eyes fixed on Him and His goodness. Because I find in this love the faint echoes of the deep and furious love of God for us. My identity and my worth are found in Christ. God's redemption and forgiveness of us demonstrates a love I can't even comprehend. His faithfulness toward us is unending because it is sealed with the blood of His only Son.
For the Lord takes pleasure
in His people
He will beautify the afflicted ones
with salvation.
Psalm 149:4
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
happy to be alive
by Alanna
Today at the park a little girl swinging on some bars told me rather quietly, "I love being 6." I stopped and looked at her and smiled big. Of course, if you are 6 it is easy to love life. You can fit in small tunnels easily, you can clamber over bars
and run fast and not get tired.
If you are 6 then the whole world is full of new things to be discovered.
One of my little sisters turned 13 today, and she was literally counting down the hours until she became a teenager. I'm sure she would say today, "I love being 13." She is off getting her ears pierced now.
And then I wondered, do I love being 22? And I was reminded of something important- it is the loving of life, the embracing and rejoicing in the place and time God has you- that makes all the difference. I always think that I want to be a kid again. Oh, if I could just turn back the clock and be my 6-year-old self. But I wonder if the reason I crave childhood is because I've lost something from it. I've lost thankfulness and sheer delight in the time God has me in.
We went walking the other night, through Windsor Gardens all lit up beautiful for Christmas. And my boyfriend's mom spoke in Russian and he translated for me- "she says it's like walking through fairyland". And the three of us laughed.
Maybe she was right.
It might not take away the ache in my heart. And I might still cry driving home at night,
missing my son.
But what if we took all these moments and made them beautiful by thanking the Creator and
rejoicing that we get to live in them?
I'd like to feel awe that God gives us such good gifts- this life, this time, this place.
I'd like to delight in it, to dance and sing and rejoice like a child.
I'd like to love being 22.
Monday, November 19, 2012
bits and bobs
By Mary
Typically I don't blog unless I'm inspired, like when something's been on my mind just waiting to be captured in words or there's earth-shattering news to be shared. This is probably why I don't really blog frequently.
Lately I've been reading more, talking more, writing less. I haven't journaled at all in at least two months. Life has been really enjoyable; not over-full, sprinkled with simple beauty, simple pleasures and rich relationships.
I tend to like the quiet life.
The biggest news I have right now is of plans to go home to Colorado for Christmas and Gianna's first birthday! All the other headlines in our household are usually all the little things that probably aren't that exciting before you have a kid. Who knew infant Tylenol would end up being a major blessing in life and a tiny little pearly tooth peeking through baby gums could make your day so much brighter?
There's been talk of being re-stationed again somewhere next summer or maybe winter. I don't like the in-between stage of knowing change is coming but not knowing when and what kind. And I do know change is possible basically at any moment with the military lifestyle we have...I'm just not the most comfortable with having options being thrown around and falling through or changing and time-frames always being in question.
I've gone between two extremes of living life always conscious of the possibility of moving and then trying to ignore it completely until its slapped in my face at some point. I don't think either one is good for relationships. The first causes me to hold back and stay safe, sort of view relationships as disposable--they'll be gone the minute we are. And the second is just unrealistic and leads to a somewhat violent let-down when change does happen.
The truth is, it's not really possible to have limitless deep, impacting friendships, regardless of how close you live to one another.
Jim Elliot said "Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
For years I only thought of that as applying only to not holding on to the past or grasping to eagerly for the future. But I think of it often now...people are always worth pouring into, no matter what you get in return, no matter what tomorrow may bring. It's so much more exciting to me now than it is sad. It thrills me to feel the blessing of my family in Christ investing in me, both near and far. It's wonderful to feel used in the lives of people I grew up with, new dear friends, and people I barely know. And it's amazing to know that God is behind it all, working towards His own purposes and orchestrating the most beautiful things.
Typically I don't blog unless I'm inspired, like when something's been on my mind just waiting to be captured in words or there's earth-shattering news to be shared. This is probably why I don't really blog frequently.
Lately I've been reading more, talking more, writing less. I haven't journaled at all in at least two months. Life has been really enjoyable; not over-full, sprinkled with simple beauty, simple pleasures and rich relationships.
I tend to like the quiet life.
The biggest news I have right now is of plans to go home to Colorado for Christmas and Gianna's first birthday! All the other headlines in our household are usually all the little things that probably aren't that exciting before you have a kid. Who knew infant Tylenol would end up being a major blessing in life and a tiny little pearly tooth peeking through baby gums could make your day so much brighter?
There's been talk of being re-stationed again somewhere next summer or maybe winter. I don't like the in-between stage of knowing change is coming but not knowing when and what kind. And I do know change is possible basically at any moment with the military lifestyle we have...I'm just not the most comfortable with having options being thrown around and falling through or changing and time-frames always being in question.
I've gone between two extremes of living life always conscious of the possibility of moving and then trying to ignore it completely until its slapped in my face at some point. I don't think either one is good for relationships. The first causes me to hold back and stay safe, sort of view relationships as disposable--they'll be gone the minute we are. And the second is just unrealistic and leads to a somewhat violent let-down when change does happen.
The truth is, it's not really possible to have limitless deep, impacting friendships, regardless of how close you live to one another.
Jim Elliot said "Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
For years I only thought of that as applying only to not holding on to the past or grasping to eagerly for the future. But I think of it often now...people are always worth pouring into, no matter what you get in return, no matter what tomorrow may bring. It's so much more exciting to me now than it is sad. It thrills me to feel the blessing of my family in Christ investing in me, both near and far. It's wonderful to feel used in the lives of people I grew up with, new dear friends, and people I barely know. And it's amazing to know that God is behind it all, working towards His own purposes and orchestrating the most beautiful things.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
conviction
by Alanna
I read somewhere, and I can't remember where now, of the difference between condemnation and conviction. It made me think a lot, because sometimes when God shows me sin in my life, I turn to condemnation and then I become stuck in a rut. Condemnation causes me to embrace fear and doubt and hatred; it makes me disgusted with myself, and when I'm condemning I never run to Christ but only away from Him. Thankfully, "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death." This is a beautiful promise, and it reminds me that we have been set free from sin.
Anyway, God has been at work in my heart, convicting me about some of the ways I continue to love the world. I thought change would be easy, but then I stubbornly cling to these things of the world and I'm shocked by the ugly inside of my heart. So I'm learning, I hope. Learning that it is God who both convicts us of things and works change in our hearts. I'm so thankful to God that He is faithful to conform us to the image of His Son. As children of God, I believe that we have to obey our Father even when we don't agree or understand. I think that in obedience, in surrender and trust, we will honor Him. And then I hope that He blesses us with joy and freedom. It's an astoundingly beautiful and undeserved privilege we have- to follow and submit to the King of the universe. His patience toward us is greater than I can comprehend.
I read somewhere, and I can't remember where now, of the difference between condemnation and conviction. It made me think a lot, because sometimes when God shows me sin in my life, I turn to condemnation and then I become stuck in a rut. Condemnation causes me to embrace fear and doubt and hatred; it makes me disgusted with myself, and when I'm condemning I never run to Christ but only away from Him. Thankfully, "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death." This is a beautiful promise, and it reminds me that we have been set free from sin.
Anyway, God has been at work in my heart, convicting me about some of the ways I continue to love the world. I thought change would be easy, but then I stubbornly cling to these things of the world and I'm shocked by the ugly inside of my heart. So I'm learning, I hope. Learning that it is God who both convicts us of things and works change in our hearts. I'm so thankful to God that He is faithful to conform us to the image of His Son. As children of God, I believe that we have to obey our Father even when we don't agree or understand. I think that in obedience, in surrender and trust, we will honor Him. And then I hope that He blesses us with joy and freedom. It's an astoundingly beautiful and undeserved privilege we have- to follow and submit to the King of the universe. His patience toward us is greater than I can comprehend.
"For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace...and if Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who indwells you....if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live."
Romans 8
Friday, October 26, 2012
like a child
By Mary
My baby is so confident, unpretentious. She doesn't worry what everybody thinks about her. She doesn't worry about doing everything the right way, always. She just tries. And tries again. She's persistent.
She doesn't question my love for her the moment I'm impatient with her. She doesn't avoid me or deny me her affection because I lost my temper.
She smiles at the world and loves everybody. She's a little bit of sunshine to anybody who gives her a smile or a minute of their time.
She doesn't worry if I have everything under control or try to make her own plan B in case I don't come through for her. She trusts me, depends on me. For everything. When she's unsure of something, she turn first to me to see what I think and determine her actions from that.
The more I try to teach my baby...the more I learn from her.
My baby is so confident, unpretentious. She doesn't worry what everybody thinks about her. She doesn't worry about doing everything the right way, always. She just tries. And tries again. She's persistent.
She doesn't question my love for her the moment I'm impatient with her. She doesn't avoid me or deny me her affection because I lost my temper.
She smiles at the world and loves everybody. She's a little bit of sunshine to anybody who gives her a smile or a minute of their time.
She doesn't worry if I have everything under control or try to make her own plan B in case I don't come through for her. She trusts me, depends on me. For everything. When she's unsure of something, she turn first to me to see what I think and determine her actions from that.
The more I try to teach my baby...the more I learn from her.
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