adapting

(written on August 12th)
by Alanna

 

I write this blog for now on paper, as we haven’t yet found internet in Catacamas. I’m sure it’s here, just not in our apartment or at the school. Internet, like many things I’ve found, is not a life necessity.

My husband opens our little fridge to get bottled water (nobody drinks tap water here). Inside I see one Yoplait yogurt, a banana, an apple, half a jar of spaghetti sauce, and some unidentified fruit which in my opinion tastes kind of like grass. In the door there is a jar of jelly and a box of juice. Other than that the shelves are bare. I laugh and tell Yonas that I never in my life lived with such an empty fridge.

After our spaghetti dinner tonight, we split one of those chocolate wafer sticks in half, to share. We laughed together, because it’s good but new- this living cheaply, living simply. We have plenty of money in the bank, and we don’t go hungry. Soon we’ll also figure out how to efficiently grocery shop here.

We read this verse in Acts 2 a few days ago- “They received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.” I’d like that to be us.

I’ve been using socks for potholders, my shirt for a kitchen towel, and a table for an ironing board. Yonas is playing guitar now on our improvised “couch”, which he so creatively made yesterday from 2 chairs, a suitcase, and a blanket. We deep cleaned the whole apartment yesterday- bathroom, screens, windows, floors, furniture- with just 2 rags, a scrubbie, disinfectant, bleach, and water. (There was no broom or mop so I washed the floors Cinderella style). I’m going to learn to make tortillas, hopefully; to hand wash our clothes in the pila, to cook/bake everything with only one working electric burner.

We have so many blessings here. Kind teachers at the school, a very approachable director who is fluent in English, our own furnished place to live. We live in a safe, secure place, we have cell phones, clothes, food, electricity, and running water. We even have 2 fans here, which my handy husband repaired. We have each other to love and serve and lean on. Soon we get to meet kids to love and teach. Jesus paid the ransom to free us. Tonight I’m so very thankful.

transitioning

by Alanna

A few weeks ago I said goodbye to the twins, who I had nannied for the past nearly two years. It reminded me of other goodbyes, in nursery rooms in South Africa. I cried for all those kids I love, my son I ache for, the hurts of the world's little ones.

I had grown to love the twins- how could I help it? They had been a stable factor in my life over the past years of emotional turmoil, both good and bad. When I started with them, I had just come back from Africa and was praying about adoption. I ached for my little one, my heart left behind with him. All my thoughts and prayers constantly pulled back to that continent and the place where he was, and all my plans here revolved around him and what I believed God wanted me to do concerning him.

Each week, I went to work with the twins. The boy reminded me of my little one and sometimes I cried for it, but him and his sister also won their way into my hearts as I watched them grow up little by little. In that first year of work, I fought for my son. And in the end I lost him, lost the chance to be his mother. But in that ending there was also immense victory, as God answered prayers and did beautiful things for my little one. I watched in awe, gratitude, and heartache, as God finally placed him in a family.

Through those times, working with the twins got me out of bed in the morning after I'd cried myself to sleep. Through the twins God gave me gifts every day, things to thank Him for here. And then in the second year of working there, God brought a wonderful man to me. And less than one year after I said yes to being his girlfriend, I'm his wife. We'll soon board a plane to Honduras to be teachers at a Christian school there. Over these last two years, I've experienced both the saddest and the happiest days of my life. I still cry sometimes, still act like an emotional wreck. I still dance around the house because I'm crazy in love. I'm thankful today for the twins, and the way that God gifted us with each other through all the turmoil of these last years. I'm thankful that God Himself is a gift to us through all these changes. He is ever faithful, His promises enduring always.

beautiful life

By Mary

I keep thinking about this blog and thinking I should probably try to contribute to it occasionally, wondering what I should write.

Things are happening fast, lots of traveling and weird schedules and different distractions. I don't have as much time to just sit and think or write. But all these things make for a beautiful life. And maybe even a life worth writing about, a little bit?

Exactly one month ago I braved the four hour flight to Colorado with my 18 month old for Alanna's wedding. It wasn't a complete disaster and I survived obviously--and besides that, the wedding was so well worth it. I've definitely never seen Alanna happier, or a couple more clearly in love and brought together through God's good plans. And I had a whole week to spend at home, with grandparents to watch (and spoil) my little baby girl any old time. I felt like a kid again, having my mom doing the cooking and being able to leave Gianna whenever it worked better not to take her out with me. She sure loved time with her grandma and grandpa. I think I was the one missing her while I was gone, not the other way around.

About a week after we came home to Maryland, I had a reunion with my man who's spending two months this summer in North Carolina for Marine Corps training. It was so wonderful to have our little family all back together. I think this time apart has really made me appreciate even more what we have.

After celebrating Independence Day with our friends in MD we took a little 6 hour drive down to my brother's house in North Carolina where I've been staying the last two weeks with the baby girl. Nick comes to see us on the weekends and we get together for a little family date once during the week since he's still a bit of a drive away from here.

My niece is turning two this week--just five months older than Gianna. In a blink of an eye we'll have a two year old of our own. Our three year wedding anniversary is the same day as our niece's birthday--I'm so thankful for the things God has done in our marriage, the blessings He's given, the ways He's grown us.

And speaking of blessings, while I was back home I made a little discovery--and I'm happy to report that our family of three will be a family of four near the end of January in 2014. All the beautiful gifts keep coming =)

the frailty of life

by Alanna

  

On June 22^nd, 2013, I became Mrs. Hailu- wife and helper and lifelong companion to the one I love. The wedding went well despite any worries I had, and hopefully gave glory to God- the Giver of this good gift called marriage. I was blessed by so many dear friends and my precious family rejoicing with us. Afterward we spent a week in the mountains, which was a gift in so many ways. I’m quite sure I love Yonas more now than I did a week ago, even than a day ago. I had some fears before the wedding, that maybe sin would manifest itself stronger after marriage, and that we’d go from joy and delight in each other to fighting and hard. Our first week of marriage dispelled those fears for me, because God is the One who brought us together. He blessed us with so many good things all week. We danced in the kitchen and laughed hard and walked and cooked and loved.

On our third day of marriage, God gave us a stark reminder of the frailty of life. And I pray we count each other more of a gift because of it. Yonas and I went out in the canoe on a big lake. We had ventured out a bit too far when the wind picked up and the canoe tipped. The water was icy cold and I panicked. The shore was much too far for swimming against the cold waves. We asked Jesus to come to our rescue. He sent a boat. And we are still alive, even today. Instead of drowning, we get to be married and love each other for one more day. It puts things in perspective. Those vast mountains- their Creator so powerful and strong. And then little weak us- flailing in a tiny spot of water. And He comes to our rescue. I believe it’s so that we can love- Him and those around us. It reminded us not to take each other for granted. Every moment is really a gift. No matter what else I do as a wife or a sister or a daughter or a friend, I want to love people fiercely, as if time is not guaranteed. I want to hold nothing back. Because today is all we may have left. 

thankful

by Alanna

  These days I frequently do happy dances around my house, cry, laugh hard, wake up every hour through the night because I'm too excited to sleep, pack my things into boxes, take down pictures of beautiful African kids from my walls, pray and hope and wait with so much expectation. I watch in awe as all these godly women gather at my house- to sew and gather and glue and roll and dip creations. I'm humbled by their encouragement, their support, and the way they intentionally pursue Christ. I'm thankful to have so many godly wives to look up to for advice. I'm thankful for my man and the way his eyes are kind to me and he listens even over Skype. I'm thankful for the way he upholds me with truth and love across these miles. I'm thankful for the way God uses us together sometimes, even now, becoming one. I let the twins sit on my lap for lunch today, because its one of our last. I kiss their blonde heads and sing to them about Jesus because if there is one thing they remember from me, I want it to be Him. I hold my little sister's hand and my dad's arm and walk before sunset with all of them. I'm filled up with blessings, to overflowing. I hug my brother extra these days, touch my tiny nephew's new soft skin, talk late with a friend because now is not the time for sleeping. I'm so filled up with emotion these days that I haven't known what to write here. I feel excitement and joy the strongest. I feel utterly inadequate to teach in Honduras, and sometimes terribly afraid that I won't make a good wife either. I cringe from all these goodbyes coming soon. But mostly I feel FULL. I feel full of gratitude and thanksgiving because God has shown me His love. He has shown me mercy, has gifted me above and beyond all I ever deserved or even imagined. In ten days I'll be called Yonas' wife, and in 8 weeks I'll pack my life into a suitcase and together we'll go. I tightly treasure all this here now, but I also dance with joy when I think of the future. I hope and pray that this filling of blessings overflows into gratitude. Always, only, to the Giver of all good things.

excitement

By Mary

 In just a week (ok ok one week, 15 hours and about 45 minutes) baby and I will be flying back home. Which is completely exciting in and of itself. And to top it all off I get to be a part of Alanna's wedding to a super great guy whom God so clearly brought into her life with His perfect timing. I love their story and I already love what God has ahead of them...more of His big, beautiful plans. And I really really love the friendship I have with this pretty lady

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phantom hands

By Mary

Every time I see a toddler with sweet pudgy hands, my own hands feel a phantom ache, the memory of how it felt to hold your hands in mine.

To this day tears spring to my eyes when those little things take me back to our times together. No more regret or guilt. I just miss you.

So I hold my baby a little bit tighter and rock her before bed a little longer and pray your parents are doing the same. I hope you know how loved you are.