answered prayers

By Mary

Sometimes I struggle with the concept of asking for specific things in prayer. I can definitely understand talking to God, or asking for His will to be done in specific situations. But to ask for my personal desires, believing He'll answer...it's hard for me sometimes. I wonder if He doesn't grant my prayers because I'm actually lacking faith I thought I had when I asked. And I don't have it all figured out or anything but I realize more and more that this usually happens when I don't have much of a relationship with Him in general and I'm treating Him more like a genie in a bottle.

This month I've been realizing so many prayers He's granted that I've just ignored really, taken for granted. So many little prayers with my daughter, like a quick and easy delivery, a healthy baby...and then even right down to her curly hair and blue eyes!

I have a whole list of thankfulness for prayers answered...immediate answers like strength for the day, and long asked for prayers like the adoption of two precious little ones I've waited for years to come to be.

Right now my heart utters praise and gratitude instead of questions and doubts. And it's one of my prayers that I learn the discipline to remain this way.

the blessings of power outages

by Alanna

 

Life has been quite busy for us here in Catacamas. We started school last Wednesday, and received our teaching schedules that same day. It’s been hectic, catching the bus at 6:30 a.m. and getting home between 3 and 5 in the afternoon. After that we cook dinner, eat, wash dishes, and plan until generally around 10 p.m. Teaching has been quite a struggle. Someday I’ll muster up the courage to blog about my failings with children and the cacophony of 20 Spanish speaking 1^st-graders in one room. Tonight I want to write about the 12^th graders, our lack of electricity, and Texaco.

Today was a hard day for me. It was our first full day of actual teaching, and I had the first grade room all to myself from 10 a.m.-2:40 p.m. (Before that I do devotions with them for half an hour, and then teach 4^th grade language). The boys were wild; I felt like giving up; I had duties during recess and lunch which meant no time to simply breathe. 1^st grade is harder than it sounded, and patience is something I severely lack.

During lunch time I was keeping an eye on the kids near the soccer fields, and three high school girls joined me. We talked a little about their plans, and mine. They told me nice things that Mr. Hailu told his class about me, and I rolled my eyes and laughed. “No really- he is in love with you Miss”, they said. It was a little breath in my day, a small reminder to be thankful, when all I wanted to do was lay down and quit.

The bus left without us this afternoon because we had teacher devotions. As usual we were the last teachers to leave, catching a ride home with the director around 4:30. I felt so tired and hungry. Unfortunately we had hardly any food at our apartment, and no Lempiras. The bank had closed at 4 p.m. When I flipped the light switch at home, nothing happened. It gets quite dark here by 6:30 p.m., and so lesson planning would be a problem with no electricity. Our electric burners would of course not work to cook dinner. We laughed, Yonas hung up flash lights, and I got out the bread and jelly and cereal (we are out of peanut butter). My husband reminded me to be thankful for cereal. Then he suggested we go out to eat, something we haven’t yet done here in Catacamas. We walked together in the rain to Texaco, and had our first Honduran date there. We ate a whole pizza, drank coke from a glass bottle, sat across from each other and talked. It was a beautiful calm from the chaos. I think we both praised God for the lack of electricity. By the time we walked home, the lights were back on.

In this crazy schedule of our lives right now, it was so good to have a Texaco date night. I’m so exhausted and I still don’t really want to be a teacher in the morning, but tonight I’m thankful because we live here. I’m thankful for reminders from 12^th graders, for hugs from my first graders and the way they yell “Mrs. Hailu!” when they see me walking. I’m thankful for Texaco and their Visa card reader. I thank God for the ability to buy a pizza if we want to. I thank Him tonight that we didn't have electricity for a time. Such darkness brought unexpected blessings. 

  

one day in the life

by Alanna

My husband is cooking crepes and loudly singing along to Bob Marley. So I’m sitting down to write a small blog of our day. This morning we took the laundry down to the courtyard to wash it in the pila. (The pila is an area with cement washing boards, a drain, and a basin for water. We hand wash everything there). My husband wisely wore mosquito spray, and I smugly didn’t. I was promptly bitten 9 times on my ankle and leg within the first 10 minutes of washing clothes, and so I humbly retreated back upstairs to get mosquito spray as well.

After the laundry, we walked to the bank. There you get asked by the security guards at the door if you have a cell phone, as they are not allowed in the bank. From what I’ve seen, if you are a man you also get waved with a metal detector. Yonas had looked up the word for withdrawal, so we could get Lempiras out of our account here.

From there we walked to the grocery store, La Dispensa. It’s the cheapest one in town for most things. They have loud music playing outside every day, and today the music was inside too. It was hard to think about what Honduran baking powder might look like, when those Honduran pop songs were blaring so loudly next to me. I forgot to be thankful and to rejoice that we have a grocery store and money to use there.

Just as we were paying at the register, we heard the rain come. It was a downpour, and the gutters fast became rivers. We waited at the entrance to the store, along with all the Hondurans, for the rain to let up a little. Then we walked home through muddy puddles with light rain coming down. I laughed because I love puddles, but Yonas was not thrilled because he does not like the rain. This afternoon we had lunch (PBJ again), and washed the floors in our apartment by hand.

Afterward I checked e-mails, and Yonas took a nap in our room. While I was typing, suddenly the wide open bedroom door slammed shut. It was so loud that I jumped right out of my seat. It had been the wind, and right away the rain started pouring down. I thought it would be a hurricane. I ran into our room and jumped right into my husband’s arms, like a little scared child.  I’m so thankful that I have this man to be strong. Thankful that he thinks about things like mosquito spray, that he speaks Spanish, that he leads me by the hand across these crazy streets. I’m thankful that we get to hand wash clothes together, clean floors, grocery shop. I’m thankful that we get to live life together, that I don’t have to be alone here. I’m thankful for his kindness and the way he notices the bathroom needs to be cleaned and just does it.

I don’t want to ever forget what we have been given. These other things- a whisk, a washing machine, a mop, aren’t so important. Even baking powder and paprika I can live without. But I’m thankful that today, I have my husband.  

 

in the desert

By Mary

Its been difficult for me to blog lately...partially because the single mom roll was a little more stressful and wearing than I thought it would be, partially because I've been more tired and low energy lately, but mostly just because its been hard to put my thoughts into words.

I've had a spiritual dry spell for months, I think. I can't give it a time frame because it felt so comfortable for so long. Being lukewarm takes little effort...but it really is so draining, so empty and joyless. God has been on the very outskirts of my consciousness with so many petty things competing for my time and heart.

I think it's simple to fall into this kind of lifestyle. It doesn't take anything dramatic and it doesn't even take a long time. It just takes a little shift of focus from God as number one to...anything else as first. It's easy to lose love when you're not cultivating it. It's natural to lose good habits when you stop exercising them.

But right now, I'm so excited for life. I've got my husband back from all his training for at least the next few months and it seems like we're both in this spiritual rebuilding stage and it's so good. And hopeful. God is as present with me in the desert as when He leads me to the well-watered pastures.

adapting

(written on August 12th)
by Alanna

 

I write this blog for now on paper, as we haven’t yet found internet in Catacamas. I’m sure it’s here, just not in our apartment or at the school. Internet, like many things I’ve found, is not a life necessity.

My husband opens our little fridge to get bottled water (nobody drinks tap water here). Inside I see one Yoplait yogurt, a banana, an apple, half a jar of spaghetti sauce, and some unidentified fruit which in my opinion tastes kind of like grass. In the door there is a jar of jelly and a box of juice. Other than that the shelves are bare. I laugh and tell Yonas that I never in my life lived with such an empty fridge.

After our spaghetti dinner tonight, we split one of those chocolate wafer sticks in half, to share. We laughed together, because it’s good but new- this living cheaply, living simply. We have plenty of money in the bank, and we don’t go hungry. Soon we’ll also figure out how to efficiently grocery shop here.

We read this verse in Acts 2 a few days ago- “They received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.” I’d like that to be us.

I’ve been using socks for potholders, my shirt for a kitchen towel, and a table for an ironing board. Yonas is playing guitar now on our improvised “couch”, which he so creatively made yesterday from 2 chairs, a suitcase, and a blanket. We deep cleaned the whole apartment yesterday- bathroom, screens, windows, floors, furniture- with just 2 rags, a scrubbie, disinfectant, bleach, and water. (There was no broom or mop so I washed the floors Cinderella style). I’m going to learn to make tortillas, hopefully; to hand wash our clothes in the pila, to cook/bake everything with only one working electric burner.

We have so many blessings here. Kind teachers at the school, a very approachable director who is fluent in English, our own furnished place to live. We live in a safe, secure place, we have cell phones, clothes, food, electricity, and running water. We even have 2 fans here, which my handy husband repaired. We have each other to love and serve and lean on. Soon we get to meet kids to love and teach. Jesus paid the ransom to free us. Tonight I’m so very thankful.

transitioning

by Alanna

A few weeks ago I said goodbye to the twins, who I had nannied for the past nearly two years. It reminded me of other goodbyes, in nursery rooms in South Africa. I cried for all those kids I love, my son I ache for, the hurts of the world's little ones.

I had grown to love the twins- how could I help it? They had been a stable factor in my life over the past years of emotional turmoil, both good and bad. When I started with them, I had just come back from Africa and was praying about adoption. I ached for my little one, my heart left behind with him. All my thoughts and prayers constantly pulled back to that continent and the place where he was, and all my plans here revolved around him and what I believed God wanted me to do concerning him.

Each week, I went to work with the twins. The boy reminded me of my little one and sometimes I cried for it, but him and his sister also won their way into my hearts as I watched them grow up little by little. In that first year of work, I fought for my son. And in the end I lost him, lost the chance to be his mother. But in that ending there was also immense victory, as God answered prayers and did beautiful things for my little one. I watched in awe, gratitude, and heartache, as God finally placed him in a family.

Through those times, working with the twins got me out of bed in the morning after I'd cried myself to sleep. Through the twins God gave me gifts every day, things to thank Him for here. And then in the second year of working there, God brought a wonderful man to me. And less than one year after I said yes to being his girlfriend, I'm his wife. We'll soon board a plane to Honduras to be teachers at a Christian school there. Over these last two years, I've experienced both the saddest and the happiest days of my life. I still cry sometimes, still act like an emotional wreck. I still dance around the house because I'm crazy in love. I'm thankful today for the twins, and the way that God gifted us with each other through all the turmoil of these last years. I'm thankful that God Himself is a gift to us through all these changes. He is ever faithful, His promises enduring always.

beautiful life

By Mary

I keep thinking about this blog and thinking I should probably try to contribute to it occasionally, wondering what I should write.

Things are happening fast, lots of traveling and weird schedules and different distractions. I don't have as much time to just sit and think or write. But all these things make for a beautiful life. And maybe even a life worth writing about, a little bit?

Exactly one month ago I braved the four hour flight to Colorado with my 18 month old for Alanna's wedding. It wasn't a complete disaster and I survived obviously--and besides that, the wedding was so well worth it. I've definitely never seen Alanna happier, or a couple more clearly in love and brought together through God's good plans. And I had a whole week to spend at home, with grandparents to watch (and spoil) my little baby girl any old time. I felt like a kid again, having my mom doing the cooking and being able to leave Gianna whenever it worked better not to take her out with me. She sure loved time with her grandma and grandpa. I think I was the one missing her while I was gone, not the other way around.

About a week after we came home to Maryland, I had a reunion with my man who's spending two months this summer in North Carolina for Marine Corps training. It was so wonderful to have our little family all back together. I think this time apart has really made me appreciate even more what we have.

After celebrating Independence Day with our friends in MD we took a little 6 hour drive down to my brother's house in North Carolina where I've been staying the last two weeks with the baby girl. Nick comes to see us on the weekends and we get together for a little family date once during the week since he's still a bit of a drive away from here.

My niece is turning two this week--just five months older than Gianna. In a blink of an eye we'll have a two year old of our own. Our three year wedding anniversary is the same day as our niece's birthday--I'm so thankful for the things God has done in our marriage, the blessings He's given, the ways He's grown us.

And speaking of blessings, while I was back home I made a little discovery--and I'm happy to report that our family of three will be a family of four near the end of January in 2014. All the beautiful gifts keep coming =)